I must admit to being a bit controlling in nature. My husband and children would call that a massive understatement, but I’ll leave it at “a bit.” This often conflicts greatly with my Christian walk.
There are far too many times I get frustrated with God when things aren’t going the way I’ve worked so hard to plan out. I’m finally realizing His way always turns out better than mine could ever hope to become. There really is something incredibly special about the life He mapped out for us in the Bible.
One of these important instructions I tend to overlook comes from the book of Ephesians:
Now as the church submits to Christ,
so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything.
I struggle with this in my home. My expectations of how my husband should lead are huge, but stepping back and allowing him the space to do this does not come easy for me. But, here’s the good news: Letting our husbands lead when we love to control is an inner battle God can help us overcome.
I love the way Darlene Schacht describes this in her book, Messy Beautiful Love:
“I’ve come to the understanding that submission runs deeper than merely stepping back so my husband can lead. It’s an act of yielding my life in submission to the Father who rewards those who seek Him… When we honor our spouses, we bring glory to God.”
Viewing submission as bringing glory to God makes it so much more powerful. It’s a daily choice that He can and will help us make.
Darlene, also known as The Time-Warp Wife, goes on to share:
“Letting him lead your family doesn’t mean that you aren’t or shouldn’t be part of the planning process. By all means you should. God created Eve because He saw that Adam was alone and needed a helper. You are an essential part of your marriage.”
This is beautifully relieving. We don’t have to sit back and turn into Stepford wives. Our thoughts, hopes, and dreams are an integral part of our walk together as husband and wife.
My husband always points out how people too often overlook the very next sentence of the above referenced chapter of Ephesians:
Husbands, love your wives,
just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her
If our partners love us in this incredibly unselfish way, we have no reason to fear any decision they make. The fact that my sweet husband points out that important verse again and again makes him more than worthy to follow and trust. For a woman who loves to take charge, this allows submission to be monumentally easier.
Does this mean my controlling days are over? Unfortunately no, but it’s a huge leap in the right direction…
This wonderful book is part of my to be read pile for 2016. You can find the rest of my reading list for the year here: