Over Mother’s Day weekend, I came downstairs to my daughter sifting through online pictures to post of us. I happened to catch her looking in a group that I really liked and told her to use one in that section.
Later, as I stared at her sweet caption and chosen picture on Facebook, I started to wonder how old this particular shot was. After a few stressful glances in the mirror, I realized it was almost 5 years old.
Five years ago, I was wrinkle-less and at a healthy weight. Five years ago, I turned 40…
A few months before that monumental birthday, I raced to a local dermatologist and began shooting things into my face to make sure it would remain unmoved by my approaching 40’s. Thanks to Botox and Juvederm injections, my face stayed the same, but my heart began to change in ways I never imagined.
My monthly dermatologist allotment shifted from her pocket to feeding precious children in a far off place called Swaziland. My obsession with my age and number of wrinkles decreased, while I started dreaming of ways to serve others. My inward self-absorption has blossomed into outward love.
I put so much into my appearance because I hated who I was inside, who I had been for so long. Forgiveness did not really come into my vocabulary until the last few years. As I have grown in my faith and discovered grace, being able to forgive myself and others is a natural by-product.
That’s the true beauty of aging, of aging gracefully. It’s not about how much we can stay frozen in time. It’s about how our inner beauty far surpasses what we see in the mirror.
Next week I will be 45. With so many crazy years of addiction in my past, I honestly never thought I would see 30. I’m thankful to say I’ve made it to middle age…
I can’t agree more with that quote I have seen splashed across the internet. My body is falling apart. Every part of it is spreading. My face is quickly pruning up. I’m exhausted to the point of dreaming constantly of a nap.
However…
The good parts of growing older far outweigh the bad. We do finally get our heads together. I’m finally settled. God has placed on my heart the important things in life, the things I can actually change. My focus has shifted from what I am missing to everything I have been blessed with — family, friends, sobriety…
My days are spent trying to leave a legacy by instilling values in my children and telling my story, the not so pretty moments included. This is how I want to be remembered, as a woman who loved and was loved in return.
Five years later, I may be wider and wrinklier, but I wouldn’t change a thing…
A picture actually taken this Mother’s Day:
If you want to age gracefully, here is a great step to take… You can order some fabulous non-toxic products for your body, face, and home from my friend, Dr. Heather. She is raising money for our amazing friend Donna and her family to travel to Swaziland this summer to take care of the beautiful children of Mahangeni. Donna is an incredibly important person in my life. She has been instrumental in my spiritual growth over the past few years and I am forever indebted to her.
I hope you can find some helpful products to order. I bought the Anti-Aging Night Serum because there is nothing wrong with fighting wrinkles while you are helping others. That is truly aging grace-fully… {The sale is now over. Thanks so much to everyone who participated!)
If you would like to sponsor a child in Swaziland, please visit Children’s Hope Chest. Two of the children my family sponsor happen to be on the first page. They make me smile (and happily wrinkle) every time I look at them…
LOVED reading this….but I must admit…I still like a little botox and juvederm from time to time….that makes me shallow doesn’t it?
love ya girl
susie
No, it doesn’t make you shallow, my friend! I can’t promise I will not ever get “a little help” again :). I’m just not going to get completely obsessed with it. I love you too!
Forgot to tell you….love the new photo of you. You are beautiful…inside and out.
Thanks, Susie! It was really difficult to post that picture. I have been oddly stressed about it. I reread the post several times to get the courage to do it :).
I can so relate to this. Just tonight I was telling my daughter how glad I am to be free of all that worry over what I look like. That’s what Christ did for me – freed me from bondage. Loved getting this reminder of what He has done for me – including my sobriety, too.
I need to talk to my daughter more about this topic. Thanks for reminding me of that, Laura. She saw me obsess over my weight and trying to stay young for so long. I want her to know better. As you said, it truly is a bondage He can free us from!
I don’t have to tell you how much I loved the post, but I will…I loved it! I love your current picture. You are all beautiful! The light of the Lord shines through your eyes, and your smile is the smile of someone who knows what’s important. I have never been super concerned with my physical appearance, but lately, I’m almost 46 : ), I have been feeling old…heavy…not very attractive…and those feelings are dangerous, so reading this post is God’s way to remind me to refocus. We all need Him to fix our eyes on Him, and only Him…the rest comes as an added bonus. Thank you so much for sharing!
Thank you, Gisela! I completely agree with you- “those feelings are dangerous.” They definitely come back to haunt me often. I’m a work in progress in this area. You are always so incredibly encouraging and greatly appreciated :)!
Great share Candace! xo
Thanks Mari! It’s always great to see you. I hope all is well!
What a beautiful picture of you and your children!! And you are beautiful…inside and out! Great blog. 🙂
Thank you, Kim! I feel so bad for banning my daughter from posting any current pictures of me for the past few years. What a terrible message I have been sending her!
We always think the worst of ourselves, don’t we? I think we get so used to being judged by the world sometimes. I do the same thing with my kids and posting my pictures, too.
Hey Candace, you look great and you have beautiful children. You have a great attitude about life and how generous of you to sponsor children.
Thanks so much, Sonya! My attitude in this area is definitely a work in progress. I still get really stressed at times when I look in the mirror, but I’m working hard on changing that. I love my Swazi kids! My husband and daughter met them last year and they really bonded. It was an amazing experience. I wish I could have gone, but I needed to stay home with my son. I’m hoping to visit them in the next couple of years.
happy birthday Candace! You and your kids look great and so full of love! Such a sweet post!
Thank you, Roaen! We are definitely full of love in our family :). I am very blessed!
Beautiful story! Thanks for sharing. And, by the way, you look amazing in the current picture. You don’t need to change a thing.
You are so sweet, Lisa! Thank you for visiting and encouraging me :).
You look fantastic! I am with you a little, as I turn 40 this year. It seems that the world gets inside us and makes us feel insecure. A recent study said about 80% of women are unhappy with their body image. I think a greater focus on what we are inside, and how we give and better others makes a difference. This post and posts like it can help us all. thanks for being vulnerable and sharing with us!! Beautiful woman!
Welcome (almost) to the 40’s club, Elizabeth! Overall, my 40’s have been my best years yet. I think we definitely feel more confident and stable in these years. That 80% statistic doesn’t surprise me at all. It is so sad though. Helping others is such a great way to get out of ourselves and refocus. Thanks so much for your sweet support!
Oh, dear, if you’re old at 45, I’m a disaster! (62 Sunday last…) Great words. I married late -had our last kid at almost 44 … (: And, yes, age is great in many ways – especially in the trusting God area as in: Okay well, He did this 10 years ago, I think He can manage today…)
Great except for belly fat and prune face. sigh.
You are definitely not a disaster, Sue :)! Happy late birthday! I feel your pain on the “belly fat and prune face”… It is discouraging, but a normal part of the aging process I suppose. Thankfully, the other areas like increased faith and self-esteem help counteract those some!
so very true – faith and purpose trumps the wrinkles, praise God.