Do you stand in front of your mirror every morning thinking, I feel beautiful today? I want to learn to say yes to that question no matter what the number on that dreaded scale just screamed at me. How about you?
I recently developed an obsession with a woman I found online, Jenna Kutcher. She is a young lady, beautiful inside and out, who went viral through this Instagram post of her and her handsome, chiseled hubby walking on the beach:
Someone actually sent her a message telling her how surprised they were she landed a man as good looking as her 6-pack husband. I won’t even go into how I feel about the messenger and how absolutely mortified I am humans could treat each other in such a way. That’s a whole other topic…
Here’s the part I love about this story. Jenna didn’t shut down her Instagram or even delete the picture over what this person thought about her. Instead she used this viral moment to serve all of us who have ever felt unworthy because of those dreaded extra pounds.
So yes, my thighs kiss, my arms are big, and my bum is bumpy but there is just more of me for him to love and I chose the man that could handle alllll that (and so much more!) I am so much more than my body, so is he, and so are you.
~Jenna Kutcher
Amen, Sister. There is more of us to love, my friend. And we are definitely so much more than our bodies.
I’m currently listening to Get Up! by James Levine. Just this morning, I heard him say, “Overweight people think of themselves unattractive or unworthy several times every hour.” Sadly, I know this can be true from personal experience and thoughts are a powerful force.
But let me offer this: I’ve stared at my reflection from 118 pounds all the way to 230. I can tell you those feelings of unworthiness and obsessions with imperfections showed up no matter what size pants I wore at the time.
True beauty shines from deep inside. There are days where I feel absolute peace with who I am. Those are the moments I can look in the mirror and see a gorgeous woman staring back at me.
That’s the key. Remember who you are. Remember whose you are… (Shout out to Chrystal Evans Hurst for enlightening me with those instructions in her wonderful book, She’s Still There.)
Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as elaborate hairstyles and the wearing of gold jewelry or fine clothes. Rather, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God’s sight.
~1 Peter 3:3-4
(Check out my Inner Beauty Mirror for a fun way to remind yourself of this inspiring verse.)
Did you smile at someone lately who was having a rough day? Have you kissed away a tear stained hurt from your child’s heart or body this week? Forgiven your spouse and moved on in an argument you know you should win?
You are breathtakingly beautiful…
Don’t wait until you hit goal weight to enjoy looking in the mirror and feel this truth. We are worthy today!
I’m a work in progress with this as I am with so many of the topics I share in this online space. One thing helping right now is getting dressed every day. I know that sounds crazy, but since I work at home, I’ve been known to take my son AND pick him up from school in my pajamas.
I completely agree with the verse above that hair and clothes are not as important as our inner selves. But let’s be honest, they can certainly help us deal with our mirrors a little more lovingly.
I got new bangs last week. This forced me to try and somewhat fix my hair every morning so it wasn’t completely funky all day as no bangs more easily allowed.
So going to the trouble of trying to look better from the neck up inspired me to put on a decent outfit. This snowball effect is truly making me feel better about myself on so many levels. It reminds me of a piece of advice I’ve shared here before: Live As If.
Live as if you’ve already lost the weight. Put on a cute outfit every morning. Skip that weigh in every once in a while. Look in the mirror and praise that beautiful, strong, worthy woman glancing back at you. She is fabulous, inside and out…
As always, thank you for being on this journey with me. If you are new here, please subscribe to my free newsletter so we can get to know each other better!
This article is part of my Turning to Food series. You can learn more about my food addiction story in An Addict’s Journey or you may want to check out some of the other monthly updates.
I’ve often struggled with body image, Candace, even though I’ve been able to maintain a fairly decent weight most of my life. So I totally agree. It doesn’t matter whether you’re heavy or slim, body image issues can crop up at any point. I’m encouraged by the small steps you’ve taken to feel better about yourself. And I’m also encouraged by this woman’s perseverance and confidence in her body and relationship. These are things that help all of us to embrace our bodies no matter what size or shape they are!
It really surprised me when I got to my goal weight several years ago that it didn’t magically fix all my other issues, Beth ;). Those feelings of disappointment helped me gain all of that lost weight back pretty quickly. Thanks so much for sharing your experience here!
I love the encouragement here! Understanding our worth is key to knowing God’s heart for us (I even wrote a book about it!) And this includes how we see ourselves and the number on the scale. I needed this reminder today. So glad I visited from Grace & Truth 🙂
And the bangs look great!
Thank you, Rebecca! I’m still adjusting to them ;). I bet your book is fantastic. What an important topic. I’m so glad you stopped by!
I so needed these words today. It has been a battle recently and somedays I look in the mirror and want to cry. I just wrote some words about beauty that will be shared on Daughter of Delight and used those words from 1 Peter. Your encouragement is such a gift and there is so much to love about myself. The last few days have been better because I have been taking care of myself a little more. Also the sunshine and being able to get outside makes all the difference.
I know how you love your outdoor walks, my friend. I’m sure the sun was a wonderful addition to your life. I can’t believe it snowed today! It breaks my heart to think of you wanting to cry when seeing your beautiful face looking back at you, but unfortunately, I can relate. I’m looking forward to reading your words on this subject, Mary!
You wrote: “But let me offer this: I’ve stared at my reflection from 118 pounds all the way to 230. I can tell you those feelings of unworthiness and obsessions with imperfections showed up no matter what size pants I wore at the time.” and oh my gosh, I can relate to this so much!
I had a problem with anorexia when I was younger, and I think that was the time in my life when I felt my largest. Right now, I weigh the most I ever have (barring pregnancies), but I feel the best I ever have!
Thank you so much for this post! It’s so important for people struggling with body image!
Body image has made me crazy over the years, Kay. The mind is a powerful thing. I love hearing that you feel the best you ever have! I’m a work in progress in this area and look forward to making that statement myself in the very near future :).
Oh Candace. I needed to hear your message today. Thank you for the encouragement. Saying a prayer for you as you continue on your journey. Visiting from Fresh Market Friday. laurensparks.net
I greatly appreciate the much-needed prayer, Lauren. I’m so glad you were encouraged here today! Thanks for visiting :).
I love all this, Candace. And I get it. I live it. I’m learning to love being healthy. Healthy is beautiful. Have a great week!
That’s a beautiful thought, Dianne. To love being healthy is a wonderful goal. It teaches us to enjoy the journey so much more. I hope your week is great as well!
Love the bangs! And so glad I get to pin you this week, Candace!
Thanks, Barb! I was so happy to see you in my group! I’m pinning you this week as well :).
Oh, that’s fun that we’re both pinning each other at the same time!
Love this picture of you, love your philosophy, love simply wanting to be healthy and strong in all the ways that matter most. You show us how it’s done, Candace. I always love when you pick up your pen and speak your heart to us.
Bless you, girl …
Thank you for your sweet encouragement, Linda. Picking up my pen hasn’t been happening as much as I would like lately ;). Blessings to you, my friend!
There was lots I loved here, but this great, ” Live as if you’ve already lost the weight. Put on a cute outfit every morning. Skip that weigh in every once in a while. Look in the mirror and praise that beautiful, strong, worthy woman glancing back at you. She is fabulous, inside and out…”
Wise and lovely words my friend!
Thanks, Jen :)! I’m definitely a work in progress with this concept, but the “live as if” mindset shift has done wonders for me.
Candace, what is not to love about this post! We are so much more than our bodies, and this is such a wonderful call to remembering and celebrating who we are and how uniquely we each are created. Congratulations on being featured as this week’s featured fresh find on Fresh Market Friday. Your post will go up on my blog tomorrow morning! Thank you so much for sharing:)
Thank you for your sweet comment and feature, Crystal! I’m so glad I stumbled upon your beautiful linkup. I look forward to getting to know you better!
Beautiful encouragment! I had to laugh at myself yesterday… I walked out of the house in my PJs (granted I sleep in workout clothes) hair a rat’s nest and sans makeup yesterday. An noon. Your advice to live as if, is spot on. I can certainly notice a difference when I’ve taken the time to look like I care a little bit about how I look. I’m toying with the idea of bangs, myself! Blessings to you!
Go for the bangs, Liz! They are fun ;). Blessings to you as well!
First of all, I LOVE YOUR BANGS! You are just so adorable, beautiful, and my gosh seeing a picture of you makes me light UP with a smile- because I see YOUR light- it’s just so strong, my friend.
Sadly, I’m not surprised with that message- my gosh, people can be so cruel. But I LOVE what she wrote and this message you shared today. It is SO IMPORTANT we see ourselves as worthy and beautiful right now- right NOW.
And here’s a tip as far as the PJs thing…
My PJs are often fleece leggings and a long shirt. BAM! It *almost* passes as an outfit. Well, it does in my life anyway. And of course, there’s the comfy shorts/capris in the spring and summer- with a lovely t-shirt/sweatshirt. I tell ya- these all are the entire WARDROBE that I wear every stinkin’ day. All day. 🙂
But good for YOU, for taking it a step further. I commend you, girl.
You are so sweet, Chris. I always adore seeing your beautiful face around here! I love the PJs tip! Yes, fleece leggings and a long shirt definitely qualifies as an outfit, my friend :).
Candace: Great encouragement. It is so easy to find something to criticize about our appearance and or weight. No matter our looks and weight. No magical weight or beauty level will ever magically stop this inclination. But knowing whose we are and knowing our beauty and worth does not come from our thighs and shiny hair is the key, and one we must remind ourselves of daily.
People may think only overweight people struggle with this, but so do skinny people. and I remember it starting at church in the girl’s bathroom as a pre-teen. Where suddenly we were supposed to look in the mirror and voice dissatisfaction about our looks. There we were with 24 inch waists saying aloud to the other girls that we were looking so fat and needed to get skinny again. It almost became a competition on who could bemoan their looks the most.
It’s been a long time but I can still remember those preteen days of dissatisfaction as well, Theresa. You are so right! It was like a competition of who could cut themselves down the most. So sad. And yes, no one is immune to this, regardless of size, age… That part is so frustrating but extremely eye opening as well. We just can’t find our worth in how we look and we’re definitely not supposed to anyway.
Candace – long time no talk, or connect my friend. What a great post and so much of it is so true. I am so appalled at people sometimes and how rude they can be to make comments and assumptions about others that could hurt and cut to the quick. Wow I am so glad that Jenna spoke out. In the past year, I have had people say some things and express concern to me about my weight, but they hd no idea behind the scenes that it is medical stuff that has caused the weight gain, not my love of food and lack of self-discipline LOL it takes a lot to rise above it.. thank you for saring your thoughts about Jenna and how to feel beautiful at any weight. I love how you remind us to live as if! Yes, live as if .. it’s so good. Congratulations on being featured over at #FreshMarketFriday today too.
PS.. if you are looking for another place to link to on Thursday’s I would love if you would consider joining my new linkup #TuneInThursday – it opens Thursday 3am PST and runs through Sunday night. you can find it at debbiekitterman.com/blog (Please feel free to delete the link if you think it inappropriate).
Hi Debbie!! It’s so good to see you. People can be so shockingly rude. I just don’t get it. Yes, live as if, my friend! We are worthy in the skin we’re in right now.
Thanks for the linkup invite. I’ll definitely try to join. I’m so hit or miss with blogging these days. I really need to find some consistency!
Wow, how I needed to read this today and crazy I stumbled upon it on Pinterest! I have been gaining weight like crazy and it is really getting to me. I look at John and think he works so hard to stay fit and I am gonna smash him here shortly. Thank you for these words I so much need to hear & by the way I LOVE. LOVE. LOVE. Your new bangs!
Hi Tonya! I’m so glad this helped you, my dear friend. I know how stressful extra weight can be, but let me reassure you, you will not smash John!! You are gorgeous and I’ve seen you lately in person so I know this to be true! This is an older post so I don’t have those bangs anymore, although I often think of getting them back. I love how they cover my forehead wrinkles ;). Miss you already! Can’t wait to see you again.