Food is my friend. Except when it’s not…
I use it for things it was never intended for. The aforementioned friendship. Stress relief. Entertainment. To feel. Not to feel. Everything, but nourishment.
I can’t believe it’s been almost a year since I wrapped up my 31-day series on food addiction. I must admit the time since I dropped that incredibly helpful food plan has been one excruciatingly long relapse.
I’ve written about this many times. This is yet another admission, another new beginning, but it’s different this time. I honestly and deeply feel change coming.
I’m exhausted from turning to food for every little life circumstance, the good, the bad, and the incredibly ugly. I’m tired of avoiding taking my kids to the pool because of the horrific thought of cramming myself into a bathing suit.
This extra 80 pounds I carry around, emotionally and physically, is being kicked to the curb as of this very moment.
So many of us struggle with weight issues, which I’ve finally learned are about much more than food. Whether we eat to squash the memories of past trauma or to escape from current daily stresses, we are the same. We are the weary, sometimes hopeless, often silent sufferers.
Food addiction brings shame, just as any other addiction washes over our delicate souls. It isn’t talked about as much because the dangers seem less.
When I left alcohol and drugs behind, food became my refuge. I can no longer deny the danger and severity in this swap. Just as I can’t have that first glass of wine, I must let go of testing myself with a small bite of dessert, which always leads to a long, guilt-inducing, nauseating binge.
My food addiction affects every part of my life. The lack of energy to care for my children. That evil 80 pounds I’ve lost many times over the past 10 years, only for it to find me again.
So, here’s the plan…
Let’s start with these 3 simple steps to try finding freedom from these chains:
Forgiveness. I’m forgiving myself for my current unhealthy body and accepting where I am today. I didn’t gain this weight overnight. (Although sometimes it feels like it!) It will take time to get rid of the extra pounds and I must embrace this body for now.
I even put on a bathing suit yesterday and had an amazing time on a downtown rooftop hotel with my precious daughter, while she studied for her cosmetology state board test. Here’s our amazing view, along with our matching tattooed feet:
Choose real, God-given foods, not man-made, highly processed franken-food. I’m still taken aback at times how much better I felt when following a plan with no sugar, flour, or wheat. I know deep in my heart that is where I need to eventually be.
However, starting there may set me up for failure, so my aim is to make as many great choices as possible while I move towards my goal of SFW abstinence. Less factory created, more farm raised.
Last, but certainly not least: Turn to God instead of food. He is the best friend we could ever ask for. He doesn’t make us sick, tired, and incapable of squeezing into our jeans. God loves us right where we are, extra fluff and all.
All we have to do is turn over that time spent in unnecessary snacking and ensuing exhaustion to Him. Turn to God in those times when food is screaming for us yet again.
Trust in him at all times, O people;
pour out your heart before him;
God is a refuge for us.
Are you with me? Let’s get this healthy party started!
I’m starting a monthly update to keep me accountable. I’ll keep you posted on progress, setbacks, tips, etc. I hope you will join me to break free of whatever is keeping you in bondage. Regardless of what you are struggling with, food, alcohol, shopping…, there is a place for you here.
If you have time today, check out the rest of this series: