I have always been a doubter. I doubted my abilities. I doubted God was real. I doubted that I could ever be truly loved or escape the horrors of my past…
Needless to say, I was thrilled to find out the Proverbs 31 online Bible study was going to be on A Confident Heart by Renee Swope. A few years ago, I decided to stop doubting the possibility that God exists. I knew it was time for me to believe in Him, but something still was not quite right. Renee’s words resonated so deep with me this week:
“He’s led me beyond believing in Him to really believing Him
by relying on the power of His words and living like they are true
no matter what my feelings tell me.”
He has done this for me in a profound way over the past year. I not only believe in Him, but I completely and faithfully believe Him. When those doubts come back to haunt me, I look back on my life as Him working in me for a greater good. I no longer look at my past as wasted years. I know all of those experiences had to take place to make me who I am today. Believing He is in control and always has been has changed me deep in my soul.
As strongly as I believe He created the amazing sun and oceans,
I believe He can heal every deep, dark place in me.
The addictions I have struggled with throughout my lifetime have been overwhelming and incredibly destructive. When I was a child, it began with food. By the time I was 13, drugs and alcohol had taken over my life. I would remain fully engulfed in their destruction for the next 17 years…
When alcohol and drugs finally lost their grip on me, I turned back to food. For the last 14 years I have fought a losing battle with food issues, gaining and losing 80-100 pounds so many times I have lost count. Even after I started believing in Him, by not believing Him, there was no way to be successful.
Today, I wholeheartedly believe He can take this obsession with food from me, just as He removed even harsher addictions from my life all those years ago. He is the reason I have had the strength to avoid sugar, flour, and wheat for the last 17 days. He is the reason I haven’t felt the need to binge in even one of those 17 days. He is the reason I started 31 Days to Food Addiction Recovery and have managed to stick with it, unlike ALL of those programs I tried and failed at in the past.
I see now He has always been in control, even when I thought I was completely lost and alone. Each of those addictions opened my heart to help others struggling. They are the reason this blog was created. To serve in a way I never would have thought possible. I can relate to such a wide variety of people and understand every corner of their pain. Not as an outsider looking in, but an insider with total and complete understanding, love, and acceptance…
If you are struggling today with addiction or you love someone who is, please take some time to look around here. I hope you can find some comfort in my stories.
Candace – i relate so much to EVERYTHING you said. I am a woman who is recovered from past addictions thanks to the Lord but am still struggling with food. Your story has really inspired me to once again turn to the Lord regarding my food issues. Thank you for your transparency. God Bless You.
I will pray for you Hope! It is not easy, but it is possible. Thanks so much for visiting and sharing!
God had a purpose for you and here you are fulfilling part of it, your giving back to those who are where you were. God bless you Candy cane.
Yes He did Camii, even though I didn’t always see it. So glad to be a believer today! I am constantly amazed at how much giving back helps us in return.
Candace, what you are doing is so powerful. I got goose bumps reading your post this morning. So proud of you.
Thank you Paula! I can’t tell you how much I appreciate your support and encouragement. It can be difficult to put our personal demons out there for everyone to see, but I feel it is really necessary for me to do.
Tonya McCoy ~ Group Leader
Candace, this is really awesome! I struggle with food issues also & it is one of those things I never thought about just giving it to God until this week. I know through him I can be victorious! Thank you so much for sharing this!
Thank you Tonya for your visit and sweet comment! Food issues are tough. Unlike some other addictions we can just avoid, food is a necessary part of life. You can be victorious my friend!
Loved reading your blog! You wrote, “I know longer look at my past as wasted years”, your messes God has created His message for you to share with everyone through those trying times. Praying for you as you continue this journey and help others.
OBS Facebook Group Leader
Thank you for the prayers Denise! It has been, and continues to be, quite a journey. I really do hope that I can help others. I really appreciate your support!
Hi, Candace! I’m glad, also, that we are in Group 7 together! I loved your blog. Your words reach out and touch people and that is something special. Thank you for sharing and encouraging me today!
Thanks Kim for your encouraging words! I’m looking forward to getting to know each other better. I am loving the study already! I could really use a more confident heart :).
Candace, I really appreciate your post today. Praise God for his deliverance!
Thanks for your support Bronda! I feel so blessed by His deliverance! So glad to be in a place today to give back.
I randomly clicked on your blog, because I wanted to share that I believe too. Not knowing what I would find here, but God guides us to where we need to be. My entire life I have struggled with self-discipline in many areas of my life, struggled with doubt and insecurity. I stumbled upon the Proverbs 31 ministry website sometime last year. I have subscribed to receive their emails and have purchased several books through them. I purchased A Confident Heart earlier this year, way before this OBS was mentioned. The way Renee writes its as if she looked inside my heart. Anyway I know what it’s like to doubt God, I always felt so distant from him. This year I have been on a journey to really and truly find myself, to seek Him to believe not only in Him as you say but to believe what He says and to trust Him. I am taking baby steps, but I see my heart changing, my attitude changing, and more important I truly know in my heart that I am forgiven, I can now move forward. I struggle with food issues too, and this is another area that I am giving to Him. I love your website, and was wondering how does one go about creating a site and how does one go about creating graphics to post on the web. May God bless you and guide you. I am in Group 35 and love the honesty of the women in the group.
Thank you again for sharing.
I am so glad you ended up here Char! There are no accidents :). I’m really enjoying the book as well. I gave you a couple of resources for setting up a blog in the Where to Start post comment section. I didn’t include creating graphics there. I would suggest using picmonkey.com. It is free and you can do so much with it. ChristianMommyBlogger.com has some great tutorials for it. Search their site for picmonkey. They also have many other helpful posts. I would suggest going through the entire site. It is amazing the number of free resources on the web for blogging.
If you decide to start one, come back and tell me about it so I can visit! It sounds like you are on the right path. I will pray for your food issues. They are such a struggle! I feel your pain.
As always, your words are beautiful and thought provoking. Thank you for sharing from the corners of your soul. God is doing and will continue to do great things in you and through you. You are blessing to those who come on contact with you. Stay strong in Him! To Him be the glory and to tou, the prize!
Thank you so much Gisela for your beautiful words of encouragement! I feel so blessed with where I am today. I truly hope I can be a blessing to others. It’s always a pleasure to see you my friend!
God really is great. And he manages to make even our worst decisions make us into better people, if only we give him that chance. Thank you for sharing a little of your story. I too am doing A Confident Heart with P31. Have a blessed weekend!
Hi Bobby, He is awesome :)! I’m sure you are enjoying the study as much as I am. I love these P31 online Bible studies! So glad you stopped by. Hope your weekend is blessed as well!
A great testimony to trusting in Him vs. our feelings and emotions! Keep going…
Thanks Amy! I am still a work in progress but I suppose we all are really. Feelings and emotions can be extremely powerful, but He is stronger.
A beautiful testimony to the truth that He can keep us strong to fight anything. I am so glad that I visited from Fellowship Fridays!
I’m so glad you visited too Joanne :)! Thank you for your sweet comment.