I’m an introvert in every sense of the word. My energy comes from the revival of long stretches of time spent alone. I can go weeks without contact with another human — besides my husband or one of my children.
I’ve learned in recent years, however, this is not always the healthiest way to live.
We were made for community. Our lives are supplemented with beautiful, blossoming friendships. For so long, I viewed friends as a distraction, a time and energy consumer. It’s a sad and lonely way to live.
Not only did my desire to protect my large quantities of alone-time keep other people at bay, but the walls I built over the years also kept people at a safe distance. These walls erected over time from pain, rejection, trust issues, and all of the other circumstances life throws at us.
I’m honored to be sharing the rest of this today with the beautiful community at (in)courage. Please visit here to read the rest of my story of building friendship even when it’s hard.
If you would like to join their wonderful community, sign up here to receive free daily encouragement from the writers of (in)courage, right in your inbox!
Oh what a wonderful opportunity for you Candace!! I am heading over now to read this post…
Thanks, Chris! I’m so grateful for your support and friendship! It just amazes me the people and opportunities that have been brought into my life since I started this little blog :).
Oh Candace,
Look at God. He continues to use your testimonies to heal others. I’m so proud of you for candidly sharing and celebrate God giving you the large platform of (in)courage.
Thank you so much, Tyra! I’m truly honored to be there today. It’s a wonderfully inspiring community. I’m always amazed by the places God takes me.
The community really sounds like a great place, and I will have to check it out to learn more about it. I’m heading over to finish reading your post. =0)
Happy Friday!
It’s really an encouraging space, Kim. I hope you enjoyed your visit there. I’m thrilled to get to introduce you :). Happy Friday to you, my friend!
I’ve always been a little envious of people who have had numerous friends. But, as I have aged, I have had a couple of very close friends whom I cherish. We discuss God a lot and I love that. And I love I can discuss God with my online friends too.
I’ve found having a few cherished friends is worth far more than numerous ones who I’m not really connected to. My favorite friends are definitely the ones I can discuss God with, both online and real life. My faith is strengthened by staying in contact with loving Christian women. I’m thankful to call you friend, Tammy!
I’m going to read the post–I love the image with the quote. Beautiful image … beautiful quote.
Thanks for visiting me there, Tammy! I can’t take credit for that sweet flower image and quote. They sent it to me to use with my post. It really is beautiful!
Fabulous Candace! I think it is really hard to share the real us with anyone. I am heading over there to read the rest!
It really can be so difficult, Jen. So many people just want to show their shiny parts. I’ve found it’s when I connect with people through my broken areas, we are able to bond much deeper.
I’m heading over there now… 🙂
Thanks for your visit and support there, Akaleistar!
You go, girl!! I love you and am so proud of you! You open your heart and share yourself with so many. You have no idea the encouragement you bring to others. Thank you and keep on doing what you are doing. <3
Thank you so much for your sweet encouragement and cherished friendship, Kim! I can’t wait to get together again. I love you dearly, my friend!
Candace, thanks for sharing. I love (in) courage! I already receive their posts and encouragement. Keep going! I am also introvert and love to spend loooooong times alone. But I’m working with that! Have a blessed weekend!!!
W/Love,
Tayrina from TGAWrites
I’m honored to be there, Tayrina. I love incourage as well. So many of us writers are introverts. I guess it’s a good thing because we definitely have no problem with the extra alone time spent writing :). I think I’ll always needs those long stretches of time by myself to recharge, but I’m thankful to finally be sharing some of my days with others.
Heading over to read our post. May God continue to use your words to comfort and encourage others.
Thank you, Barbie! May God continue to inspire and encourage us all with your beautifully honest words as well, my friend.
When I was shutting out the world, I’ve got friends who were so stubbornly reaching out to me. Calling me and being okay with me not talking and just crying (bawling actually) on the other end. Patiently waiting and listening. What a wonderful thing friends are, aren’t they? Life’s more beautiful with them around.
It sounds like you have an amazing support system, Lux. Those are the kind of friends everyone needs!
Community is so important. We recently started going back to church and I didn’t realize how much I had missed my church community.
I’m so glad you are back in a church community, Sonya! It really makes such a difference. I’m too often bad about consistency with church. I can really tell when it’s time to reengage :).
Candace, I’m visiting from Kelly’s RaRaLinkup. And off to (in)courage to read the rest of your story. Susan
Thank you, Susan! I look forward to seeing you there :).
Hi Candace, we wrote on similar themes this week! I always think that’s so amazing when God speaks to our hearts with the same burdens to share. It’s as if he is linking us together for one purpose:) Thanks for the good lesson today. I appreciate it!
I will definitely be over to read your friendship story, Kristine. I love when God sends me to the same topic repeatedly. I always know it’s time for me to take notice and see what He’s trying to tell me :). He really does link us together!
Thanks for sharing this, Candace. It’s often not easy for an introvert to talk about herself and her problems – I am one as well, so I understand! I’ve had to work at my friendships with women over the years because truly, I’d rather just be home with my family. But I know that I need my friends, and they need me, and it must be a priority so that we can minister to each other! Great post.
I love your statement: “so that we can minister to each other,” Ruthie. I completely agree! We really must stretch out of our comfort zones for that beautiful blessing.
I, too, have been praying and struggling in this area. To break through, I pray each day for God to change my priorities that people would be my most important asset. Little by little I am seeing breakthroughs. By the comments that have flooded incourage as well as your site, I would say you hit a hot topic here. Thank you!
I think prayer is one of the best things you can do for this situation, Samantha. I prayed for years about friendships. I love your words about asking God to readjust your priorities. This is definitely an important topic for women. We really do need to feel as if we belong to a community.
Heading over to (in)courage to read the rest of your post. Stopping over as your neighbor at Coffee for Your Heart.
Thanks for reading, Katie! I hope you enjoyed your visit to (in)courage :). I always find some comfort in their space.
Hello, fellow introvert. 🙂 I just took a deep sigh as I breathed in your gorgeous yellow tulips. I also used to be able to go for weeks on end and not see anyone but my husband and my dog, as long as I had physical touch. The husband and the dog, ha. Then my pastor challenged me that Jesus loved people, not just animals. I was convicted. It transformed my world and I had to step out of my shell. So great to read your story.
What a life changing challenge your pastor shared with you, Kim. He is so right. We were made to live communally. I fought this for years as well :). So glad to hear you stepped out in faith to find relationships outside of your home. I know how hard that is!
My heart did a happy dance when I read this and continued reading over at (in)courage. What a beautiful way to share the importance of community but in real life connections that feed into your soul. I love everything about this because I am honored to be one of those online friends that has since become a real life friend. Love and hugs!
I’m so honored to call you a real life friend now, Mary! Those connections really do feed our souls. I couldn’t agree with you more. Much love to you!
You already know I love this post and the opportunity for you to share at (in)courage. So proud of you for sharing your heart – here and there. 🙂 Thanks for linking up at #ThreeWordWednesday.
It’s always my pleasure to linkup with you, Kristin! Thanks so much for your continued encouragement and friendship :).
Oh, Candace, I’m so glad I found this post today. I see so much of my story in yours, except I’m still in the isolate myself for days on end. Thank you for sharing your story and encouragement. My soul needed to hear there is hope and that I don’t have to live like this forever.
There is hope, Kelsey! I’m living proof :). I feel your pain, my friend. Praying for you to reach out soon. I truly understand how difficult it is, but it’s definitely worth it. Isolation is something I think I’ll always struggle with, but I’ve come a long way. I have no doubt you can find those much needed connections as well.
I went over to read the rest of your testimony at In Courage and I just wanted to say thank you for sharing. Your words are true and we do need friends so we can build each other up! Blessings, ~Sarah (visiting from Radical Femininity)
Thank you so much for taking the time to visit me here and there, Sarah. I completely agree with you on building each other up. What a beautiful benefit of friendship!
Oh, I can so relate! I savor and crave alone time–but it got out of hand when my girls were preteens and my oldest called me to task. We started carving out ‘us time’ and those precious date moments made all the difference in being able to help her navigate through her teen years!
Those personal dates throughout the teen years are so important, Anita! I couldn’t agree more. My daughter is an adult now and we still enjoy those private times together so much. My son will become a teenager this summer. When my husband travels, we get a lot of special mommy-son time. I will always “savor” my alone time too though :).
Oh–what a great topic for me to read–I could easily do the same–be alone for a week or two with no problem. I am recharged by being alone. If I don’t have my daily “alone” time the day is hard. However–I must have balance. Even though I can go a long time, doesn’t mean I should. You’re right–we need community!!! May we turn toward God and each other!
Balance is such a struggle in every area for me, Amy. I completely agree that we still need our alone time while we meet our community needs as well. I can always feel when I’m spending too much time in either way, alone or being social. It’s that wonderful internal alarm we have to tell us to rebalance :).
I’m a slight introvert, so I understand how you feel Candace. I need my alone time. Although having a little one I don’t get much these days. And you’re right, having women friends is so important for us.
Thanks for sharing on the Shine Blog Hop!
Those little ones are so consuming of our time and attention! I remember those days well, Tiffany. Strategically planned playdates for the mommies and kids can serve on so many levels :).
I loved your post and shared a more detailed comment over there.
Blessings.
xoxo
Thank you, Jennifer! I’ll see you there ;). Blessings to you as well!
What a beautiful post Candace! Thanks for sharing your heart with us, I can relate. May Lord fills your life with amazing friends like you are my sister. God bless.
Thank you so much for your sweet words and continuing friendship, Naz. I’m blessed to have met you in this online space. Many blessings to you!