I come from a long line of negative, self-defeating women. We can turn a beautiful, bright summer day into a dark, dreary afternoon with a few quick, random thoughts. Our minds have an omnipotent power over us that we can’t seem to free ourselves from.
I’m beginning to see traces of this life-draining personality flaw in my innocent children. This has made me want to change my way of thinking more than ever before.
It’s not that I haven’t tried to become one of those positive, happy, content people I always envied. I attempted everything… Affirmations. Seminars. Therapy. Books. Thousands of books…
Nothing could stop the negative thoughts that had engulfed me from shortly after birth. I’m not smart enough, loved enough, disciplined enough, athletic enough… These all lead to their negative statement cousin: So I can’t __________ (fill in the blank).
I have missed out on so many great opportunities and shut a variety of welcoming, open doors because of the fear these thoughts create. I closed down the coffee shop I had always dreamed of opening, and years later withdrew halfway through a Master’s program I loved. I truly believe both of these came from a deep seated belief I could not possibly succeed as a business owner or graduate student. The 4.0 grade point average I carried was, of course, overlooked…
How do we stop the madness?
Joyce Meyer gives 3 steps to help free us from negativity in What Are You Thinking?
- Identify Your Obstacles
- Practice the Positive
- Say What God’s Word Says
First, we must identify those negative thoughts that are consuming us. These are huge obstacles to our true freedom. For me, they mainly revolve around feeling I’m not _____ enough to _____. There are far too many variations to list here, but I plan to spend some time over the next few days coming up with my top 3 to work on.
Second, practice positive thoughts in all situations you are currently facing. Everyone has difficult issues they must deal with. Learn to see the good in each day. I spent yesterday at the children’s hospital with my daughter having her insulin pump set up. Instead of focusing on the frustration I feel from her having to deal with diabetes, I was able to thank God for the amazing technology we are blessed with today.
The final and most important step is to know and believe in God’s Word. This requires obedience and effort on our part. We must read our Bibles, memorize scripture, and spend time meditating on those truths…
Finally, my brothers and sisters, always think about what is true. Think about what is noble, right and pure. Think about what is lovely and worthy of respect. If anything is excellent or worthy of praise, think about those kinds of things.
~Philippians 4:8 (NIRV)
Girl ~ I love this post. The women in my family can bring the rain on a beautiful day in a split second. I make an effort daily not to think negative thoughts and definitely NOT pass these traits on to my children. Especially my daughter.
Keep your chin up! God made us perfect!
I feel your pain, Ashley :)! It is something you must address daily. My daughter is almost 20 and probably won’t be home much longer. I’m working hard to change my influence on her to a positive one! Thanks for your beautiful reminder that “God made us perfect!”
Perfect. Needed to read this. Love the Phil verse as well.
Thanks so much, Candace:)
(hey btw I bought some craft supplies on amaz…I know the temps are rising but I have not gone out in days! Stomach virus and single digit temps make shopping online so much easier! I need to have more fun stuff around just to do art for the sake of art…..used your amaz affil link.)
Take care!
Peace
C
I’m so glad it was helpful, Chris! I love that verse too. It is powerful!
Thanks so much for using my link. I really appreciate you, my friend :)! I’m so sorry to hear you have been sick. We had a stomach virus flow through our house over Christmas break. It was awful. I hope you are feeling better!
Negativity is an energy sucker, take it one day at a time one task at a time and soon it will be all that you know 🙂 Great share Candace as always and I am routing for you xoxo
Great advice, Mari- one day and task at a time! Thank you! Negativity can suck the life right out of us. Your support is always appreciated :)!
Thanks for this Candace. Was having a day when consuming thoughts take over your brain. This helped.
Yes- they completely “take over your brain”! My husband doesn’t get it. He is a naturally positive person. I dream to be more like that some day! I’m so glad this was helpful for you, Jennifer!
Thank you SO SO much for this Candace…I needed it very much…what a great reminder that it is a choice…we have the Holy Spirit-infused power to choose to believe God’s promises which point at the fact that He can work everything for good for those who belong to Him. I loved the example you gave from when you are at the hospital with your daughter…thank you! Blessings to you always.
I love it!! “Holy Spirit-infused power”… Thank you for that empowering thought, Gisela! Blessings to you too, my friend!
Thank you for sharing this post. I am challenged to be less negative daily. I think society has created a culture where it is acceptable to complain about every little thing that is wrong with us. Rarely do we look to the positive. Partnering with you in prayer and action to change the negative into positives.
I’m so glad to have you as a partner, Keirstin! It is a tough habit to break. I completely agree with you on the influence of our society. We can do this :)!
I truly understand how you feel. Not only do I come from a negative family, I heard at least once a week “Why can’t you be as pretty as Staci?” or “Why aren’t you as smart as Sherry?”. Those were my mom’s best friends daughter and having them thrown in my face on a regular basis made me feel like a total failure. Now I have a difficult time remaining positive and thinking that I can do something.
Comparisons can kill our self-esteem! I can’t imagine how difficult that was as a young girl. You are beautiful, Carla! And smart enough to run a fabulous blog :)! I know it’s hard, but somehow we have to break the cycle and know we are worthy and capable.
I’m so glad I read your post. This is such a bad time of the year for me…it’s so easy to slip back into the negative. Loved the post and always love Philippians! 🙂
I’m sorry to hear this is a rough time for you, Kim. It seems like it is always too easy to “slip back into the negative” for me. I can relate, my friend! Looking forward to our group getting back together soon!
This is the second blog post (out of 3) that I have read this morning with the same verse in it. I think God is trying to tell me something…so I am off to meditate on what is good and from the Lord. Thank you for directing me back to God’s word and away from any distractions that could lead me toward negative thoughts today! Blessings to you!
I think He is definitely telling you something, Rachael :)! I hope your meditation helped. It is so easy to get distracted with negativity. Thanks so much for visiting! Blessings to you as well!
Being around negative people can be so exhausting. My cousin is going through a divorce and I have been spending time with her, trying to give her hope. But today I said whoosah because no matter what we are talking about, where we at who we see or what we are doing, its all negative to her. I’ve tried extremely hard for her to observe her thoughts and have a better perspective instead on continually drawing in the negative but it seems like she thrives on it. I finally realized today I cannot help her and for that i’m sad
I’m so sorry you are dealing with this, Camii! It is really difficult to decide when we can no longer help someone. It can get to a point where they are just draining us too much. Divorce is incredibly difficult, but she can’t let it take everything positive from her life. Good luck, my friend. Maybe you just need a little break from her, and give yourself time to re-energize.