What a perfect day to both end my 31 Days to Food Addiction Recovery series and discuss moving forward! Today is my 14-year sobriety birthday. I am shocked and amazed with each passing year how much time has lapsed since those horrific days I was held hostage by drugs and alcohol. Even with all of this time away from those demons, I still struggle with forgiving myself. The book A Confident Heart could not have entered my life at a better moment. I am ready. Ready to forgive myself and move forward…
I was so relieved to read Renee Swope’s words about God’s promises:
“God works all things together for good.
You were created for a purpose.
God has a plan for your life.”
I didn’t always believe these promises. I spent so much time lost and hurt, not believing I was worthy of forgiveness. Not believing there was a Father who loved me.
Like Renee, I felt abandoned by my father when he left us in my childhood. I was certain there was something damaged in me that made him want to leave. This experience, as a child, can make it hard to ever trust someone called the Father.
As I have grown older, I’ve come to realize God, the Father, is not the man that walked out of my life all those years ago. He was always there working on me, developing me into a woman who would one day be able to help others with her story.
“For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord,
“plans to prosper you and not to harm you,
plans to give you hope and a future.”
He always had a plan for my life. I had to suffer through the pain of addiction and abandonment in order to not only sympathize with other hurting women, but to empathize with them. To be able to say, “I have been there. I understand. I feel your pain…”
It can be really hard to share such personal struggles with the incredibly large audience that is the Internet. I never know who will come across my words and how harshly they will judge me. That cannot be my concern. I feel called to be open and honest, to let go of any preconceived notions of who I am supposed to be and how my life was supposed to play out.
My goals for Moving Forward:
- Stay transparent. Keep sharing my story, trying to reach as many lost souls as possible.
- Continue to limit sugar, flour, and wheat. I have not been perfect the last 31 days, as I have openly shared. Overall, I am happy with what I have learned even when my addiction got the best of me. Full disclosure: I had 2 pieces of Halloween candy last night but I was able to stop at that. I will take it as a win…
- Find balance in my life. I want to make sure I’m giving all I can to God, my family, this blog, my health and so many other important areas.
- Learn how to forgive… It is time for me to let go of the past. I must find a way to forgive not only myself, but also all those, like my dad, who have hurt me along the way.
I don’t even know how to begin to thank those of you who have journeyed with me the past 31 days. You are the reason I have come this far and I hope you will all stick around.
If you are new here, welcome and please get to know me better at Meet Candace.