If you’re the mother of a child who has wandered from their faith, you already know this particular kind of ache. It shows up in the empty seat at church, in the name of Jesus met with silence, in prayers you whisper alone at midnight…
Praying for a child who has drifted from God is some of the hardest, most patient work a mother will ever do. I fully understand this pain, because I’ve lived through a season of it myself.
About a year and a half ago, my now 21-year-old daughter was in a real crisis of faith. She struggled to even hear God’s name escape from my lips. Anger and pain had taken root in her, deep enough that I honestly thought she might never find her way back.
I wish I could tell you I raised her with solid, steady roots in a church family, that I modeled a strong faith for her from the start. Neither is true. I spent most of my own life lost and unsure about God myself. I’d only found my way to Christ a few years before any of this began.
We moved through different churches during her childhood without ever staying anywhere long enough for her to plant roots of her own. When we finally settled into a church, about two years ago, she was old enough to decide for herself whether she wanted to go.
She decided no. She went a couple of times to keep the peace with us, then refused to go back.
In July of 2013, my husband and daughter traveled to Swaziland, Africa with our church to visit some of the children we sponsor there. Even while she was still wrestling with her own doubts about God, her love for those kids carried her onto that trip with a group of people she’d privately written off as “those church people.”
Something happened while she was there. I won’t tell that part of her story, it’s hers to share, and I hope one day she will. But I know it was the beautiful work only God could do. She came home with a faith stronger than I had ever seen in her.
I was overjoyed. She started coming back to church with us, but as he too often does, Satan fought hard for her.
The timing could not have been worse: she had just moved out on her own and gone through a hard breakup, both landing within weeks of each other. On top of that, she was hurt more than once by people inside our own church.
That was a lot to ask of a soul that had only just started trusting Christ.
I watched her slip further away, and my heart broke right alongside hers. I put her on every prayer list I could find. Anyone who would listen heard her whole story and was asked to pray.
My sweet friend and mentor Donna reminded me of Philippians 1:6, that He who began a good work in her would carry it to completion. I heard the words, but I didn’t believe them yet.
So I kept praying anyway, even before my belief caught up to the practice. I prayed in the mornings before anyone else was awake. I prayed while I folded laundry, ran errands, lay in bed unable to sleep. Some days it felt less like a hopeful prayer and more like just refusing to let go.
What Happened Next
Here’s what I can tell you now, on the other side of that year and a half of waiting: God had never actually let go of her, even in the seasons it looked like He had.
She was nothing like the sad, angry girl I had watched drift away just last year. She found her way to a church family that fit her age, personality, and what she needed. She started showing up several times a week, using her gifts, serving alongside people who know her whole story and love her just as she is.
Not long after, she told us she wants to pursue two years of worship ministry training at a far-away school. It’s bittersweet, thankfully more sweet than bitter. I know I’ll miss her dearly, but watching her blossom into who God made her to be is breathtaking. Her incredible musical talent and heavenly singing voice will serve Him well.
I’m immensely blessed to receive texts like this these days showing devoted time in her Bible:
And these pictures she sent me after meeting the Christian bands Veridia and For King & Country (as opposed to the ones I found on Facebook a year ago of her crowd-surfing at the Warped tour — true story):
If You’re in This Season Right Now
Maybe none of the specifics of my daughter’s story match yours. Maybe your child has been gone from their faith for years, not months. Maybe the break happened for reasons you still don’t fully understand.
Here’s what I want you to know, because I needed someone to tell me the same thing: don’t give up. Ask other people to pray with you. There is real power in this free gift God has given us, and it’s available to you right now.
If you’re worn down from carrying this alone, from the version of prayer that feels more like worry with your eyes closed, that exhaustion is real, and it isn’t a sign your prayers don’t matter. Some seasons of loving someone cost us nearly everything we have left to give.
Rest here for a moment before you keep going. He is carrying this with you, even in the moments it doesn’t feel like it.
Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. ~Philippians 4:6
If there’s anything I can be praying about with you today, please let me know.
You found your way here for a reason.
Maybe you’re tired of going through the motions. Maybe you just need permission to pause and breathe. Either way, I’m glad you’re here.
The Daily Soul Check-In is a simple, four-step practice I created for exactly this moment — when you know something needs to shift but you’re not sure where to start. It takes just a few minutes and helps you release what’s heavy, reconnect with God, and find your footing again.
It’s free. It’s gentle. And it might be exactly what your soul needs today.
Candace,
My sweet friend I rejoice with you! Your daughter has a radiant smile. The light of Jesus is emanating from her. I pray she will stay safely tucked under the wings of the Almighty and she will continue to grow in wisdom and in stature, in favor with God and with men.
Thank you for your sweet prayer, Tyra! It’s been a beautiful thing to watch the light appear in her eyes. She is really in a beautiful place right now :).
Prayer really does work! I feel so much joy for you and your daughter and this can be so encouraging for any parent who is struggling with this issue. I have even questioned the things I did or didn’t do that may have had an impact on the way my children respond to certain things….which is guilt, and we know where that comes from. You’re right… never give up!! We have to continue on the path. Another good read, Candace!!
Thanks so much, Karla! Guilt is a rough thing. I feel it far too often as well, but I agree where it comes from. It’s something I fight on an almost daily basis. It definitely eases when things are going more smoothly :). Thanks for sharing this on Twitter too, my friend!
Never give up for sure. Good friends of ours had a son in a similar situation and last year, in his mid thirties, he went through a make or break crisis and found his way back. A year later he is playing with a church worship team and engaged to a lovely young lady. God is still in the business of redemption! Praising God for your beautiful daughter.
LOVE this, Mindy: “God is still in the business of redemption!” Amen :)! Thanks for sharing your friend’s story. I can never get enough of these kind of testimonies.
Thank you for sharing this, Candace. Such a beautiful testimony of God’s faithful love and grace. We may let go, but He never lets go!
It took me a long time to accept “He never lets go.” You are so right, Trudy! This is an incredible gift :).
This was a wonderfully story. It’s great that you never gave up and had faith that your daughter would find her way back. It’s even better that your daughter had the courage to believe and trust in God again 🙂
Thank you, Sonya! It’s truly amazing the difference in her today. My faith has certainly grown right alongside of hers :).
Don’t ever give up. I agree wholeheartedly. You have haven’t failed until you stop trying.
That picture of your daughter and that beautiful baby is adorable. I just want to hug them both. I am glad she is finding her own path, because our own conversion can be both a lengthy process and powerful.
I love that picture too, Jen! It always makes me wish I had been there with her. It was definitely a trip for her to do without me though. Your very true statement: “You haven’t failed until you stop trying” reminds me of the quote “The moment you’re ready to quit is usually the moment right before the miracle happens.” Those words have helped me push through on many occasions :).
Rejoicing with you…how sweet it is to read a happy story about a young person coming TO faith vs. turning away. Thank you for sharing! My parents also never gave up praying. So thankful for that!
I agree, Amy! Sadly, far too many of the stories of young people are them leaving faith instead of returning. I’m thankful your parents never gave up either :).
Candace, awesome is our God. Beautiful redemption and hope. Thanks for sharing. Add Matt Mead, my older son. Having lost his younger brother 7 years ago, he no longer believes there is a God as how can God “take my brother?” He is angry-great word. Thank you for caring. And for adding his name to your prayer list.
Gods already told me to praise Him for Matt’s salvation. Love it that I know God will intervene. Sure would like it on “this momma’s timeline” yet I thust HIM!!
Matt is absolutely in my prayers, Susan. I’m so sorry about your tragic loss. I know it takes a long time to come to grips with such a huge trauma. Unfortunately, we often blame God for those great losses. Our way back can be long and painful. I love that you are already in your praising and thankful stage, knowing God is bringing Matt back. It will most definitely be on your “timeline” soon!
I, too, love that you are already thanking God for son’s salvation! As God tells us, He will give us the desires of our heart if our desires are in alignment with His will. There are things I pray for that I question as to whether or not they are in His will. Bringing a lost child to Him is one request we know is in His will. What amazing grace He lavishes on us giving us the faith to believe our requests will be made whole.
God is faithful!!
Yes He is, Emily :)! Even when we don’t fully believe it, He is still in our corner.
This is truly beautiful and encouraging. I am yet to have children of my own, but I know of friends who are going through a similar situation so have shared your post with them! God bless you and your daughter 🙂 x
Thank you for sharing this, Ruth! I pray it will reach all the grieving parents who need a glimmer of hope. Blessings to you!
Thanks. Two of our six children are ‘lost’. So this is a beautiful encouragement for me. I read it on Twitter.
I’m so glad you found your way here, Jedidja! Your children are in my prayers. I know how incredibly difficult and painful the worry and concern can be. Many blessings to you and your family!
Candace thanks for sharing this encouraging story. I’ve had a ‘prodigal daughter’ too and it takes us into deeper places with God and really teaches us to hang on in prayer. I hope one day she does write and share her story. It could help a young girl still struggling 😉
I’m excited to announce she is working on writing her story to share here, Kelly. I really believe she could help so many. Unfortunately, more people her age are leaving faith rather than returning. I pray we see a shift in that very soon. I completely agree with you about this taking us “into deeper places with God.” It has been wonderful to watch my faith grow with hers. Answered prayers are a truly beautiful thing :).
Wow, that Donna girl sounds amazing! I wish I had one of her in my life:)
What an amazing testimony of Christ’s great love, mercy and grace!
Love you both!
You are hilarious, my friend! Everybody needs a Donna in their lives. She is truly amazing ;). We love you too!
Our God is a redeeming and gracious God. Thank you for sharing part of your daughter’s story of how God pursued her and she found Him. May God continue to work in and through your daughter. Love visiting you and hearing your stories of healing, faith and redemption. Love you friend!
Her story is just beginning, Mary :). I’m so excited to see what He has in store for her. Thank you for your always sweet encouragement. Love you too, my friend!
Oh, what a story! So glad you shared this. There is such power in seeing God’s faithfulness at work. Looking forward to hearing about what God does from here. I’m so glad you linked up this story at #ThreeWordWednesday.
I’m so looking forward to His next steps with her too, Kristin :). She has a powerful testimony and an equally powerful future. Thanks for the always inspiring linkup!
That is amazing! Your story definitely renews my hope for my brother!
I’m so glad to hear you have found renewed hope for your brother, Sarah! That is what sharing this personal story is all about. I will definitely pray for him too!
Praise God! There is hope. Sometimes we can feel it is so hopeless, but this post so encourages our souls. Cheering you on from the Purposeful Faith #RaRalinkup in a big way!
Thanks so much for the cheers, Kelly! Hopelessness is one of the worst feelings to have. It is so dark and overwhelming. The bright light in our house today is such an incredible blessing.
Praise the Lord! I was thinking the same thoughts recently. My husband’s father is ill and not saved. I want my children to see that answered prayer before he dies as they will see then that God can do anything. But I need to pray more earnestly truly believing that God can save Him. Thanks for this encouragement.
Praying for you father in law, Tammy! What a beautiful transformation that would be for your children to see. I completely agree with you. I’m so glad this encouraged you! My daughter is an awesome example of what God can and will do.
Oh I just love this.
I can completely identify with your daughter. I went through a crisis of faith when I was in my 20’s but when God called me I dove in 150%. I had a lot of emotions to wade through.
Thanks for sharing and for linking up to the #SHINEbloghop.
Wishing you a lovely day.
xoxo
I think so many people go through this in their 20’s, Jennifer. Unfortunately, my faith crisis lasted into the beginning of my 40’s :). I’m incredibly thankful my daughter, like you, dove in 150% at a much younger age. Thanks for sharing part of your story here with me!
So glad to hear that your daughter found her way to home. My son is still a tween but I can relate to your daughter, because of my own story. It was a long and hard road for me and filled with anger, disapointments, hurt and lack of trust. But I found my way back and I believe it is thanks to the many prayers that were said for me and how I brought repeatedly in front of God.
The prayers do work and they have immense power!
I’m such a believer in prayers now too, Joanna! I had a long, hard road to my own faith. I can completely relate to you. Thanks for sharing your story with us!
What a heart warming story and to hear how your prayers have worked. I still pray everyday for my family members to accept the Lord into their lives. They have noticed all the wonderful things that have happened in our lives since we surrendered our lives the way we should. I’m hoping and praying I will be able to pass along a wonderful story like your daughters.
I’m praying with you, Tammy! I can’t wait to read about your family members’ journeys to faith very soon on your blog, my friend :). Keep being the example of a life surrendered. I think that has an amazing impact on others.
To be directed in our own spiritual life is difficult but to watch our own children sort it out can be so tough. Thank you for sharing your encouraging story.
I so agree with you, Lynn! Watching her go through this was far more difficult than my own struggles with faith. We just want so much for our children.
Did you notice how many posts focused on prayer this week at the Weekend Brew? OK, God, I get the message! Yours is so inspiring and heartwarming. Thanks for sharing your heart.
I love when He is trying to tell me something, Michele. Sometimes it takes me a while to listen so it comes at me from everywhere. I can completely relate :). My prayer life has been forever changed and improved from the struggles of the last couple of years!
Candace, thank you so much for stopping by and leaving a sweet comment on my post this morning. Your post touches my heart, God is always at work, thanking Him today for how He is working in my family members’ lives ❤️
Thank you, Beth! I’m so glad this touched you. He is definitely always at work on us and those we love. Blessings to you and your family!
I appreciate this post so much. My daughter had a similar journey. She became very hurt by some situations that happened in her young teen years. The people at church were not very supportive and she again felt abandoned. She left the church and traveled in some very scary and hurtful paths but all the time I covered her with prayer. It was a long 8 years and I had to really learn to take my hands off the situation but today she is back in church with a wonderful husband and doing great. God is faithful and His mercy endureth forever. So glad that your situation worked out as well !!!! Thanks for sharing from your heart !!!
Thank you so much for sharing about your daughter’s journey, Rebecca! What a beautiful ending :). I know those 8 years must have been incredibly painful for you. Prayer really does pay off in amazing ways!
Candace, what a beautiful testimony of a mother’s deep and abiding love for her child. You didn’t give up. You pressed through with your daughter, fought for her in the hard places and look at her now. That’s so awesome she will be attending the Hillsong worship school. Thank you for sharing at The Weekend Brew!
I’m really excited for her Hillsong journey, Barbie! I can’t even imagine what an amazing experience that will be. Thanks so much for your inspiring Weekend Brew :)!
Delighted for her return to the Light!
I went through a faith crisis, seeing things in another part of the world that made me doubt God’s goodness, mercy…and even His existence.
The I realized that He hated that stuff way more than I did, and that not only did He emphatically NOT ‘allow’ it, He wanted people…like me, a paramilitary operator – to put things right. The evil was the result of a world in which free will was necessary to allow us to grow into Heaven, but he hates its effects and the pain it can engender.
And then I was OK again.
I can so relate to you, Andrew! When I look at the beautiful, innocent children we sponsor in Swaziland and think about their unfair circumstances, my faith is strained. I love how you explained His wants and needs for us to help in those situations. Thank you. I’m so glad to hear you found your way back and are serving in such an amazing way.
I could only imagine your struggle then. But thank God He is faithful. He hears our prayers. And He could heal a broken heart. What rejoicing it might have been in heaven. 🙂
Beautiful, inspiring story.
Thank you, Lux! It was definitely some of the most difficult times in my life. We want to know our children will spend eternity with us. God is so faithful. I know this today more than ever.
Rejoicing with you.. Praise God:)!! Your daughter is so beautiful. God bless you both!
Thank you, Bomi! It’s been a long, hard road, but things are pretty wonderful right now :). Many blessings to you as well!
Please pray for my lost 16 year old daughter to stay away from evil temptations,to seek God in her heart and to repent from sin. I need your prayers so much. I am a mother who can only rely on God and prayers to help my daughter and to give me strength to accept God’s will.
Thank you and God bless you
I’m praying for your precious daughter, Lissette, and you as well! I’m so sorry for your worry and pain. Know that I have been there with my little girl and truly understand how difficult your situation is. Being a mommy can be very hard. We just love them so incredibly much. Many blessings to you both!
Thank you, Thank you, for sharing your story. I have a daughter that has turned away from the Christian faith and has taken on a religion. A religion that does not believe in the Lord Jesus Christ as Lord and Savior. She also believes that we are worshiping the same God. My daughter was raised in church. She waited two years to tell me this because her fear was that I would disown her. I knew to turn away would be the worst thing for me to do. This has encouraged me in my pain and hurt to love her even more.
After telling me about her new faith and belief, she stated, “I know you are going to be praying for me. Pray for me to know truth.”
Please pray for my daughter Jasmine. That her eyes be open and the veil be removed from her eyes that she may see and know Jesus Christ is Lord. He was just not a mere man. That my daughter would know Jesus Christ and Him as Lord.
I’ll definitely be praying for Jasmine, Stephanie. Thank you for sharing your story here. It really is a lifetime task to pray for our kids’ faith and souls. My daughter’s journey is far from over and we certainly continue to hit many bumps in the road along the way. Much love to you and your precious daughter. I have no doubt with a loving mom like you in her corner she will find her way back to Jesus. Thankfully, as we both know, He will be waiting with open arms.
Please pray for my daughter. Currently dating a wonderful guy who does not have a personal relationship with Christ, and last night just found out he has addiction issues. We are both going to my Christian counselor tonight to seek help and guidance. She is furious with me for even suggesting he is not the right one for her. I love the guy, too, but …
I’m praying for you all, Heather. I hope your counseling session went well. It can be so hard to watch our children make decisions we are unsure of. If it makes you feel any better, let me share with you I’m a recovering addict, 20 years sober, so there is hope there. I can so relate to your worries though. Much love to you, your precious daughter and her boyfriend as you all work through this.
I am going through something similar with my 25 year old daughter. She told me yesterday that she doesn’t believe what I believe. She was raised in the church, but had some bad experiences and has surrounded herself with non-Christian friends. My heart is broken. Her dad passed away almost five years ago and that devastated her. I believe that this is when she started questioning her faith and God’s word. She is open to hearing more from me, so I am thankful for that. I have several of my close friends praying for her and am seeking scripture to pray over her. Please join me in praying for this precious child of mine. I can’t stop crying right now.
I’m so sorry, Susan. Watching our children walk through their faith struggles is one of the hardest things I think us mommies go through. I’m definitely joining you in prayer for your precious daughter. I honestly believe every child/teen/young adult goes through this questioning. I’ve watched both my kids go through it many times unfortunately. I feel your pain and will be praying for you as well!