I find it incredibly ironic the day I post about making healthy eating a habit, I have my first major slip. It has however made me realize just how addictive these types of food are to my body.
I don’t even know how it started. I have been really tired these last few days, which is always a warning sign for a major binge. I remember taking one chip from the bag, just one. The next glance into the bag and it is half empty, full of air where the chips in my expanded stomach, used to reside. I definitely relate to Lay’s infamous slogan…
If you scan the chip ingredients above, you will find many names matching those on the DON’T list of my Food Plan. Food Addicts Anonymous (FAA) obviously is onto something when they advise these substances will quickly lead to an uncontrolled binge. I am living proof. Thankfully I was able to stop at the chips, which leaves me hopeful. Twenty-two days ago, I would have said the day was ruined so I might as well go all out. Three thousand calories later, I would be in tears, in a state of complete failure.
FAA also states on their website: “Eating added volume or restricting is often the beginning of the relapse process.” I must admit I have not weighed anything since the first week. At first, I estimated what would be a proper serving. Ever since my weekend trip, I have been satisfied with just avoiding sugar, flour, and wheat.
I have wondered many times during this program if I would stay abstinent from these foods forever. I am a recovering alcoholic and there is no doubt I cannot have even one drink. Being a food addict brings a different set of circumstances. It is much easier to keep alcohol out of my house than to make sure every food item that enters my kitchen has no sugar, flour, wheat, or artificial sweeteners. I am recommitting though regardless of the difficulty. Yesterday was a wake-up call…
From FAA’s Food for the Soul: Daily Meditations for Food Addicts (p.185):
Avoiding Relapse
…Food addiction is a powerful disease and may call to us occasionally. It may call to us when we feel angry, sad, or hurt. It may call to us when we want to celebrate with food or when people ask us why we follow such a restrictive diet. It may lead us to question whether we really are food addicts. We may find ourselves thinking, “Maybe this time I can handle small amounts of sugar, flour, and wheat.”
Some of us took back our will many times and tried to control our out-of-control eating. We may have believed this time it would be different. It never is. It only gets worse when we pick up addictive foods.
We have a chronic, progressive, and fatal disease…
I wish I could say with 100% certainty I will be abstinent from these binge-causing foods forever. I can’t make that promise, but I do believe the words of Food Addicts Anonymous above. For that reason, I will continue to battle this disease one day at a time…
If you are struggling with your own food issues, please check out 31 Days to Food Addiction Recovery. I hope you can find some help here.
You’re moving toward better health than before and making more informed and nourishing decisions than before. Keep going…you’re doing great!
Thanks Amy! I am feeling better today. Definitely not giving up! I expected slips. I try not to strive for perfection.
The Lord gives you the strength, dear friend. It is an impossible task on our own. One of the fruits of theSpirit is precisely Self Control. It is not our own. It is something the Holy Spirit. Has to grow in us, as the Divine Gardener of our soul. The more we try to exhibit any of His fruits by our own power and doing, the more we fail. It is all about surrendering and letting Him do the rest, which you are doing. You are surrendering to His care and trusting in His plan for you…and it is a perfect plan that includes all that you are going through…so at the end you can count yourself as one of those who overcomes in Him and can move on to do amazing things for Him! You already are doing great things for His Kingdom…this program and your whole life are a testimony. Stay strong my friend! You are among His great cloud of witnesses. Big hugs
Amen to that Gisela! Dust your knees and keep moving forward.
Knees are dusted and moving forward :). I am very thankful for your support throughout this journey, Camii. You definitely help keep me going!
Wow Gisela, thank you for your beautiful encouragement! I have always struggled with self-control, mainly from trying to do it on my own. You are so right- “it is not our own”! I’ve been praying a lot today, feeling stronger :). Hugs to you my friend!
If ya ever figure out the whole never binge eating thing again, let me know. Is there a 12 step program for this??? (Sharing some comment love back at ya through Fellowship Fridays!)
The sugar, flour, and wheat free food plan I’m following has helped tremendously with binging. This was the first time since I started the program and I’m not even sure I would call it a binge. The FAA 12-step group is wonderful. I don’t utilize it like I should but I have gotten a lot out of their materials and website. Thanks for the comment love :)!