Sugar-Free Isn’t Sugar Freedom

40 Days Toward Sugar Freedom · Week 1

On Day 1 of this 40-day journey toward sugar freedom, I opened a carton of lavender oat milk I’d been excited to try and happened to look at the ingredients. Cane sugar was second on the list.

I was annoyed. And for a second, I felt almost defeated. Seriously? On Day 1?

In an older version of one of my sugar experiments, I probably would have decided the oat milk didn’t fit the rules, gotten rid of it, or at least felt like I’d already messed something up.

This time, I used it. It was already open, so I decided I’d mix it with unsweetened almond milk for a few days until it was gone and move on with my life.

It was such a small thing, but it gave me my first glimpse of something I’ve been thinking about all week:

Being sugar-free and finding sugar freedom may not be the same thing.

Being sugar-free is fairly easy to define. Avoid sugar.

Sugar freedom is harder. I’m only one week into this, so I certainly don’t have it all figured out. But I’m thinking freedom has less to do with following perfect rules and more to do with how much power sugar has over my thoughts, routines, moods, and choices.

This already feels different

I’ve done versions of giving up sugar many times. Thirteen years ago, when this blog was very new, I even wrote 31 Days to Food Addiction Recovery.

I learned a lot during my early years of attempted recovery, and I’m grateful for the woman I was then and how hard she was trying to find her way through this. But I approached food differently.

I was often much more focused on removing every bit of sugar I could. I read labels looking for what didn’t fit. I made more rules. And before starting another round of giving up sugar, I ate a lot of it because I knew I wouldn’t be able to have it once I started.

I didn’t really do that this time. I think having fewer hard rules may have helped take away some of that last-chance feeling, although I’m only a week in.

I’m still reading labels. In fact, I’m noticing added sugar in foods I never really thought of as sugary before like that lovely lavender milk from Day 1. The difference is what happens next.

Instead of, Great, here are seven more things I have to eliminate, my response has mostly been, Okay. I’m noticing that.

So far, that feels a lot more freeing.

Some of my cravings are really routines

By a few days into the week, another pattern was hard to miss.

After dinner, my husband and I sit down to watch TV. Almost as soon as we do, I start thinking about something sweet.

During the day, especially when I’m absorbed in writing or working on this little space of the internet, I can go for long stretches without thinking much about sugar. But dinner ends, the TV comes on, and something in me says it’s time for a treat.

The grocery store showed me the same thing in a different way. My husband grabbed his usual candy bar and Dr Pepper at checkout.

I wasn’t standing there desperately craving a particular candy bar. The thought was more like:

I should get something.

Because that’s what I do.

I’m starting to see that part of this 40-day experiment may be about breaking old habits, not just resisting cravings. Sugar has worked its way into certain places and moments until the choice barely feels like a choice anymore.

Then there are the feelings I’ve been feeding

This week has also been so emotional. By Thursday night, I was cranky enough that I basically warned my husband it might be a good evening to give me a little space.

I don’t know why I’ve been so moody this week, and I’m not going to blame it all on changing my sugar habits. But I do know something about what I normally do when I feel this way.

I reach for something sweet. I get the taste, the comfort, the little reward, and for a while I feel better or at least distracted.

This week, I removed that familiar response. Suddenly I’m having to ask a question I’m not sure I’ve asked often enough:

What do I do with myself when I feel bad and I’m not using sugar to change the feeling?

That may be one of the bigger things Week 1 is showing me.

Sugar hasn’t only been something I eat because I like it. There have been plenty of times I’ve asked it to help me feel less worried, less stressed, less cranky, or just more rewarded at the end of the day.

Part of sugar freedom may be learning that we don’t have to fix every uncomfortable feeling with something sweet.

Bringing the uncomfortable parts to God

Early this week, I had some deep worry about someone I love that I normally would have eaten over. Instead, I brought it to God.

I had also started Day 1 with my Bible open after struggling lately to stay consistent with that time. Neither prayer nor Bible reading made the worry magically disappear. I still had to feel what I was feeling.

But I wasn’t asking food to carry it for me. That distinction matters a lot.

I don’t believe eating something sweet means I have weak faith. God isn’t more pleased with me because I skipped dessert, and I have no interest in turning food into a spiritual scorecard.

I’m simply paying attention to the places where I’ve asked food to comfort me, distract me, reward me, or change how I feel before I ever stopped to bring it to God.

I want to learn what happens when I invite Him into that space first.

You may recognize your own version

Your automatic moments probably won’t look exactly like mine.

You may not care about checkout candy or think about dessert the second the TV comes on. But you may have a certain time of day, place, emotion, or routine where reaching for food happens before you’ve really thought about what you need.

I wonder what you would notice if you tried just paying attention to one of those moments this week. Not so you can immediately make another rule about it. Just to notice.

And if you catch yourself wanting food to change an uncomfortable feeling, you could pause for a moment before doing anything else and bring the actual feeling to God.

That’s enough.

One week in

I’m not ready to give you a finished definition of sugar freedom after seven days.

So far, though, it looks a lot less like perfect avoidance than I once thought. It looks more like noticing what is happening and having a little more room to decide what I want to do next.

Being stricter isn’t necessarily the same thing as being freer. And while it’s far too early to know where these 40 days will lead, this way of approaching sugar feels more livable to me so far.

I’m still learning what freedom means. That’s why I’m moving toward it.

Prayer for the Week

Father, thank You for helping us notice patterns we may have lived with for years without really seeing them. When we feel worried, restless, or uncomfortable, help us pause before asking food to change the feeling. Meet us there. Teach us to care for our bodies without turning that care into another set of rules, and give us grace when our choices are imperfect. Keep leading us toward freedom and deeper dependence on You. Amen.

Want to follow the whole journey? I’m keeping every weekly update together in 40 Days Toward Sugar Freedom.