When I was a little girl, I remember sitting in our dining room one evening completely alone. In front of me sat a plate of food I had refused to finish at dinner. Honestly, I can’t even recall what the bulk of the plate held, but the cold, untouched peas are etched in my memory forever.
The room was dark and my angry father, who as usual drank far too much Scotch that evening, seemed even darker. My tiny, lonely body sat there late into the evening slowly consuming each morsel of food on that overwhelming plate, gagging on every single pea. My fear of getting up from the table far outweighed the discomfort of getting to a clean plate as my dad ordered before I could finally make my way to bed.
And so it began…
I learned 2 things that night:
- Always clean my plate and do it quickly while the food is still warm. This one point has been two different thorns in my side over the years. It not only forced me to eat past my fullness to see an empty plate, but it also turned me into someone who inhales food as quickly as humanly possible.
- Vegetables taste terrible. It took until deep into my adult life to start enjoying any type of vegetable. Peas never made the cut and I refuse to consume them in any way, shape, or form to this day.
Were you told countless times as a child to finish your plate? Those orders loved to be followed with threats of no dessert, struggling through cold, undesirable food, or even the many stories of the hungry children around the world. As adults we fully understand how those clean plates broke our fullness meter and that those hungry children weren’t getting any benefit from us finishing all of our dinner.
Yet, we stay locked into eating every last crumb of our meals.
I absolutely adore this thought from Brittany Watkins (please excuse the profanity, but there is honestly no better word): Whether that extra food ends up in the trash or on your ass, it’s the same.
Truth… If we eat when our bodies are full and satiated, we are wasting food. We will not get the money back for it, send it to a poverty stricken community, or save it somewhere inside our bodies for later use (except in the form of unwanted fat).
Let it go. My kids have no problem scraping their plates off into the trash once their little bellies are full. I must admit to usually ending our meals with telling my teenage son to take just a few more bites of his vegetable section. He always sweetly obliges and understands that’s more of a “let me get every last green thing in you before you leave home” thing rather than a clean plate order.
I’ve seen my adult daughter order an entire dessert at a restaurant and just eat a few delicious bites. This blows my mind. It takes everything I have not to reach over and clean that sugar filled plate of hers, but her pure delight in those 3-4 simple forkfuls continues to teach me well.
So, how do we get back to recognizing our bodies signs of fullness and break our clean plate habits? We will need to reprogram our body, mind, and soul.
Here’s a few tips covering each of those areas to get started:
*Slow down! Even if you’re not ready to stop seeing a clean plate at the end of your meal, follow some of those tried and true tips we’ve all heard before. Chew more, put your fork down between bites… This will help your stomach’s warnings reach your brain before you overstuff it to painful exhaustion.
*Remember our bodies are truly a gift from God and He expects us to take care of them. He would definitely prefer a little food thrown in the trash rather than overfeeding ourselves to the point where we aren’t capable of living every second of the amazing life He planned for us.
Do you not know that your bodies are temples of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own; you were bought at a price. Therefore honor God with your bodies.
~1 Corinthians 6:19-20
Therefore, I urge you, brothers and sisters, in view of God’s mercy, to offer your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and pleasing to God—this is your true and proper worship.
~Romans 12:1
*Practice leaving food on your plate. Even if you still think you’re hungry, leave a little food on your plate at every meal. If you’re at a restaurant, pack up half and take it home for later. At home, try throwing away part of every meal until it’s not a shockingly uncomfortable action.
Are you clean plate obsessed? I would love to hear part of your story or tips you’ve used to overcome it in the comments!
As always, thank you for being on this journey with me. If you are new here, please subscribe to my free newsletter so we can get to know each other better!
This article is part of my Turning to Food series. You can learn more about my food addiction story in An Addict’s Journey or you may want to check out some of the other monthly updates.
I remember being a kid and not being able to leave the table unless my plate was clean! That is quite the habit to break as an adult., so I don’t do that to my kids. As long as they are making good food choices at dinner time we are good.
At least we learned not to pass this on to our kids, Jen ;). That’s a huge step in the right direction!
Oh, how I wish I didn’t understand this all too well!!! I grew up as a lifetime member in the clean plate club. My parents were the president and vice president of the club. We were threatened with no dessert if we didn’t clean off our plates and my mom always made sure there was dessert.
I know I started doing the same thing to my sons as they were growing up but eventually let it go. I am still overcoming that it is okay to stop eating when I am full. Slowing down is a great way to do that. More importantly, I love how you reminded us that God wants us to take care of our bodies. Great post and so timely.
Slowing down helps tremendously, Mary. I’m really working on that right now. My instinct is to inhale my food. It’s crazy how quickly my plate is cleared. I have to remind myself daily how important it is to God for me to take care of my body. As you know, I’m definitely a work in progress in this area :).
Great and timely tips, Candace. My heart breaks for the little girl at the table choking down peas with an angry, drinking father watching her. I’m so sorry for all you have gone through in your life, my friend.
I know God wants us to take care of our bodies, but I have a hard time throwing away food. I think of all the hungry people in the world, and I feel guilty and ungrateful is I toss anything out. When my hubby and I go out to eat, we either split a meal or take left-overs home. At home I’m learning to take smaller helpings instead of stuffing myself. I’m still a work-in-progress though! 🙂 Thank you for your continuing encouragement to eat healthy and take care of our bodies! Love and hugs to you!
I’m sorry for your past pain as well, Trudy. It’s nice we have these outlets to serve others with our testimonies :). I struggle with throwing food away too but it really does get a little easier each time. I’m a work in progress right along with you, my friend! That’s a great idea to split meals with your hubby. Restaurant meals are definitely made for more than 1 person. Love and hugs to you!
I’ve been stuck at the table, too. It’s hard to unlearn some habits from childhood.
It’s amazing how hard those habits stick with us, Akaleistar! The subconscious is a powerful thing. Awareness is the first step :).
Dear Candace … this is sad, yet hopeful all at once. Hopefully this current generation is a bit wiser than the ones before when it comes to using food as punishment.
Yet it’s often offered as reward or a source of comfort. There must be a better way to show affection and relationship.
So much to ponder here today …
I’m so guilty of using food as comfort, Linda. It really is utilized for so many things it’s truly not intended for: reward, boredom, exhaustion… It just ends up making those issues so much worse. I’m still pondering all this as well, my friend. It’s a great deal to work through!
My heart hurts, just thinking about you as a child in that dark room alone, forcing yourself to eat those cold peas!
As always, you have some wonderful advice on the ‘clean plate club’. I seem to always take a second helping of food and then realize I’m full in the first two bites of that helping… I HATE wasting food- so sometimes I’ll eat more to not waste it on my account. Then I feel OVER stuffed- which is NOT good. I need to stop after the first plate. It’s going to be my new rule.
And ps- no wonder you have these habits set within you, Candace. Your relationship with food was formed years ago. I’m so glad you are so wise and intentional in working on this. Oh, and your daughter! WOW. I do not have that kind of control when it comes to sugar and desserts. BRING IT ALL ON. I’d reach over and finish that dessert for her in an instant. lol. She’s amazing.
It’s amazing how much those habits from childhood seem to stick, Chris. It’s been well over 40 years since that tiny girl sat alone in her dining room. My daughter’s dessert control impresses me greatly as well. And we both know I’ve reached over more than a few times to finish off her plate ;).
My family laughs at me, but often I’ll leave at least one tiny bite on my plate instead of finishing it all, just to prove to myself that I can do it. I definitely grew up in a clean-your-plate family, and it did me no favors. I, too, remember a time I had to sit at the table long after everyone else had left, to eat sweet potatoes. I never touched them. My mother finally had pity on me and let me get up. I still haven’t touched them. ha. Thanks for sharing this important message, Candace!
That’s a great habit, Lisa. Even just a tiny bite left on each plate is an incredible message to send to our brains at every meal. Every time we do that, it’s a step towards freedom. Thanks for sharing your story here!
Hi Candace, your website is gorgeous. I’ll be pinning some of your posts on Pinterest this week. Blessings!
Thanks so much for the sweet compliment and sharing, Lucille!! Blessings to you!
I was also a member of what I call the clean your plate club! To this day I catch myself doing this at times !
Hi Terri! It’s such an ingrained habit, isn’t it?! I’m really trying to at least leave a few bites behind to adjust my mindset, but it can be a struggle.