When Sugar Feels Harder Away From Home

40 Days Toward Sugar Freedom · Week 3

I knew spending several days at my mom’s house might make this sugar experiment harder. Her house is full of foods I love. There are candy dishes sitting around, cookies nearby, and lots of ice cream in the freezer.

I was also heading there on about three hours of sleep after lying awake worrying about my son’s first day at a new job. Mom was having her first cancer treatment since her recent hospitalization, and even though she ended up doing really well, I carried plenty of worry about her as well into the visit.

In other words, I was tired, out of my normal routine, and surrounded by some of my favorite sweets. It seemed like a pretty good setup for stronger sugar cravings.

What surprised me was how much the pull changed from moment to moment.

Some things were easier than I expected

Before I went to Mom’s, my husband and I had dinner out. I didn’t order dessert, and when my fortune cookie came, I opened it, pulled out the fortune, and left the cookie sitting there.

It wasn’t a major battle which was pretty exciting.

I had also made cinnamon-raisin sourdough to take to Mom. There was a small amount of regular brown sugar in the whole loaf along with the lighter sweetener option I normally use, and I ate some without turning those few grams of sugar into a reason to feel like I had failed.

I liked both of those moments for different reasons. I could leave a cookie I didn’t really want, and I could eat something that contained a little sugar without making it a problem.

Then I got to Mom’s house.

At lunch one day, Mom and my sister ordered lattes. I had already picked up one of my occasional sugar-free lattes on the way, but I still had to remind myself that I wasn’t ordering a regular one right now. My sister had a muffin afterward, and strangely enough, the muffin barely bothered me.

The candy dishes were another story.

I kept catching myself having to stay aware as I walked past them because reaching in and grabbing something is just what I normally do there. I wasn’t standing across the room desperately longing for a piece of candy. My hand just seemed to know the routine.

That made me wonder how many of our food choices are tied not only to what we want, but to where we are and what we always do there.

Then the ice cream got harder

My mom ate ice cream one night, and I was fine.

The next evening was completely different. I was tired, a little headachy, and hadn’t been sleeping well away from home. Suddenly I could not stop thinking about the ice cream in her freezer.

Same house. Same freezer. Same ice cream. This time, though, I wanted it.

I’m not claiming exhaustion caused the craving. I only know that when I felt more worn down and uncomfortable, the ice cream seemed a lot harder to ignore.

So I tried the 30-minute pause I shared last week. I asked myself what I was feeling, what I wanted, and what I expected the ice cream to give me. The answer became pretty clear.

I wanted comfort.

For the next half hour, I asked God to help me. I watched a show with Mom, played a little Rummikub on my iPad, and let some time pass before deciding what I was going to do.

By the end of the 30 minutes, I still knew the ice cream was in the freezer. I just didn’t want it nearly as much.

What I appreciated most wasn’t that the pause helped me resist the ice cream. It gave me enough time to see what was underneath the urge. I wasn’t only wanting something that tasted good. I was tired and uncomfortable, and I expected ice cream to make that feel better.

A very familiar feeling

Being at Mom’s brought back a memory I hadn’t thought about in a very long time. Many years ago, after I quit drinking, visiting her house required a different kind of awareness because she had alcohol there.

I remember the pull of that liquor cabinet. I knew exactly where it was, and there was a time when I had to make a conscious choice not to go to it.

I’m not saying sugar and alcohol are the same thing, although so many of us struggle with both at different points in our lives. They aren’t the same in my life today, thankfully.

What felt familiar was having something right there that I had decided not to have and needing to stay aware enough not to automatically go get it. Years ago, that meant knowing the liquor cabinet was there. This time it was the freezer, the candy dishes, and the cookies.

There’s another part of that memory that gives me hope, though.

My mom can have alcohol in her house today and I barely think about it. The liquor cabinet that once required so much deliberate resistance has no real pull on me anymore.

I don’t know whether sugar will ever become that neutral for me. Three weeks certainly isn’t long enough to know.

Still, it reminds me that the amount of effort something requires today doesn’t necessarily tell us how hard it will always be.

The help didn’t look dramatic

During that ice cream craving, I found myself thinking about 1 Corinthians 10:13 and the promise that when we are tempted, God “will also provide a way out so that you can endure it.” (NIV)

I wasn’t treating ice cream as morally bad. I had decided not to have it during these 40 days, and in that moment I needed help staying with that choice.

The way through that night looked pretty ordinary.

I noticed the craving instead of heading straight for the freezer. I admitted that what I wanted was comfort. I asked God for help. Then I spent time with my mom and waited before making a decision.

I don’t think God’s help always arrives as the sudden disappearance of desire. That night, I think He met me while I was still wanting the ice cream.

And eventually, the pull got quieter.

When your normal routines disappear

You may know exactly what this feels like.

There may be a house you visit where you always eat certain things, a vacation routine built around treats, or a restaurant where ordering dessert almost feels like part of walking through the door. When we’re tired, worried, or away from the routines that normally support us, those old choices can feel especially familiar.

If you know you’re walking into one of those situations, I don’t think you have to pretend it won’t affect you. Sometimes it helps just to recognize, I always do this here.

That gives you a chance to notice whether you actually want the food or whether the place itself has started the routine for you.

And if the desire does get strong, you don’t have to use my exact 30 minutes. Give yourself enough time to ask a different question before you decide:

What am I hoping this will give me right now?

It could be comfort. Relief. A reward. Something familiar when everything else feels off.

Then bring that answer to God for help. Not because prayer guarantees the craving will disappear, but because we don’t have to face the uncomfortable part by ourselves.

What I came home knowing

I left Mom’s house without eating any of the candy, cookies, or ice cream. I’m really happy about that.

Not because zero sweets earns me a gold star, but because this visit gave me a clearer picture of where I am right now. Some choices are already getting easier. Familiar places can still wake up old habits. A craving can become much louder when I’m looking for comfort.

I also made myself a pumpkin-spice iced coffee with my homemade syrup and cold foam while I was there, and thoroughly enjoyed it. I don’t want freedom to mean removing every sweet or enjoyable thing from my life.

What encourages me most is remembering that liquor cabinet. There was a time when not going to it took conscious effort. Now it doesn’t.

I don’t know what my relationship with sugar will look like years from now, but that part of my own story reminds me that needing to work at freedom today doesn’t mean I’ll always have to work this hard for it.

For now, I’m grateful for the pause, for what I learned in it, and especially for our mighty God, who I’m learning to turn to for help sooner.

Prayer for the Week

Father, help us notice the places where old habits seem to take over before we’ve even made a choice. When we reach for food because we’re tired, worried, or looking for comfort, show us what we need and meet us there. Help us recognize the way forward when a temptation feels strong, and remind us that we don’t have to do this in our own strength. Thank You that what feels hard today does not have to hold the same power forever. Amen.

Want to follow the whole journey? I’m keeping every weekly update together in 40 Days Toward Sugar Freedom.