Eighteen years ago today, I took my last drink. After 17 long years deep in addiction, I found my way into recovery. That incredible transition turned Halloween into one of my all time favorite holidays.
Sobriety is definitely worth celebrating. Unfortunately all those years ago I hung onto one unruly little addiction: sugar. This one seems to be hanging on for dear life.
I thank Jesus every day for delivering me from the prison of drugs and alcohol. But I can’t seem to understand why candy and sweet treats still rule so much of my life and keep this extra 70 pounds morphed onto my body.
Maybe it’s the fact I found sobriety on Halloween. It is literally wrapped up in the joys of candy. Or perhaps my unwavering cravings are due to my parents naming me Candy which I answered to until the age of 21 when I finally switched over to Candace.
I still remember little Candy hiding a pack of Razzles from my older sister. Several years later, I found those fruit flavored gum treats stashed atop my drapes, covered in dust. They were far past their prime. I ate every last piece anyway.
I knew then I had a definite problem. My life was so chaotic as a child. A little sugar overload would turn out to be the least of my worries. Soon after that dusty candy binge, I found alcohol and drugs. My sugar obsession quickly became inconsequential.
Sugar seems to be a typical drug of choice for us in the recovery world. It’s the acceptable addiction so we all cling to it like a comforting blanket. There are donuts and heavily sweetened styrofoam coffee cups in 12-step meeting rooms around the world as I type these words.
How ok is this? I get it. Sugar is way better than the heavier demons that brought us to those recovering tables. But it’s still a crutch we use just as we did those other harmful substances so long ago.
Sugar numbs me when my emotions overwhelm me. It acts as a sweet friend when I’m lonely. A little chocolate can even bring a smile to my worn and weary face at the end of a long, stressful day.
But those benefits no longer outweigh the negative consequences. We know how toxic sugar can be for our bodies on so many levels. Every day, it seems like a new study is released with pages of unnerving statistics about the dangerous and habit forming characteristics of that legal white powder.
Just because something is permissible does not in any way, shape or form guarantee it is good.
You say, “I am allowed to do anything”—but not everything is good for you. You say, “I am allowed to do anything”—but not everything is beneficial.
~1 Corinthians 10:23 (NLT)
Sugar is allowed, but it’s truly not beneficial in any way.
The Solution
So how do we escape this final and all consuming obsession? We completely cut it out of our lives, just as we did with those other harmful addictions. Get it out of our homes and bodies.
I would never think of having a glass of wine or keeping a bottle in the fridge for company dropping by. We must have the same rules for candy, cakes, and even sugary cereals!
And if we are not there yet, it’s time to Live As If. Let’s use one of my favorite mantras, “I don’t eat sugar” even if we don’t fully mean it today. This reminds us who we want to be and can properly focus us to meet this important goal.
If you’re in need of a food plan, the elimination diet of Food Addicts Anonymous is incredibly effective. It’s restrictive but really helps with heavy cravings. During my 31 Days to Food Addiction Recovery, I felt amazing following that plan. Adding all of those eliminated foods back into my daily diet was not a smart move.
I’m a work in progress, usually taking 3 steps back for every baby step forward. But today on this important anniversary, my 18 year sobriety birthday, I recommit to a sugar free lifestyle. I’ve said this before but the important thing is I refuse to give up.
If you’re struggling with leaving an addiction behind and are tired of hearing yourself say I’m really quitting this time. Don’t give up. Say it again and again until it sticks.
I don’t eat sugar. I don’t eat sugar. I don’t eat sugar…
Do you have something you’re desperately trying to release? Sugar? Too much TV? One too many glasses of wine at the end of your day? I understand. I’ve struggled with all of these. Let’s chat in the comment section.
Join me on this stumbling journey towards health by subscribing to my free newsletter. Let’s do life together!
This post is part of the Turning to Food series. You can learn more about my food addiction story in An Addict’s Journey or you may want to check out some of the other monthly updates.
Woohoo!!!!! 18 years!!!! Now that’s something to celebrate!
Candace, I’m impressed with your tenacity and commitment to whole living. I’m challenged by your call to live sugar free, but my flesh is weak 🙂 Joking…NOT joking. I’m going to have to pray about this. Thanks for sharing so honestly and openly from your heart <3
Praying you sense His love in a powerful way today!
~Sherry Stahl
xoxo
Thanks so much, Sherry! It has been a wonderful celebratory week. Living sugar free can be a tough road. I’m really trying to focus on the freedom more than what I’m giving up. Let me know if you decide to join me :)! My flesh is weak as well. I can completely relate!
I def have a problem! Thanks for great share Candace and congrats??❗️ Stay blessed
Thank you, Mari! It’s definitely a problem for me too. Sugar gets such a hold on us! Once I’m away from it awhile, the cravings do subside though. I’m looking forward to getting to that point and hoping it comes quickly ;). Blessings to you as well!
Congratulations, Candace! That is something to celebrate. ?? ❤️ ? Now candy… I’m a work in progress, too. I try, but I have a hard time resisting. Especially chocolate. Oh, and Skittles. Both of which we have in the house right now. When they’re in the house, it’s so hard to resist. I wish I had the will power my hubby has. Sometimes he hides it from me at my request. 😉 And I TRY not to go searching… Thank you for your continuing encouragement to let go of addictions. Love and hugs to you!
I can so relate to you, Trudy! The Halloween candy in the house is making me crazy. I put it in a baggie as a reminder for me not to just grab a piece. That is a hard habit to break. I’ve made it 2 days without any though! Love and hugs to you, my friend.
Hi Candace! Congratulations on your 18 years of sobriety! Thank you for your gut-wrenching honesty (its affect on my gut). Your insightful comparisons between substance abuse of all kinds give me lots to think about. Especially this: “Just because something is permissible does not in any way, shape or form guarantee it is good.” I’m glad to be your neighbor over at Holley’s!
Thanks, Joy! It’s been quite the journey :). My issues with sugar really does remind me of those old strongholds from years ago. I started researching sugar during a series I did a couple of years ago and learned how truly addictive it is. There are actual studies proving it. Very eye-opening!
Saying a prayer over your sugar detox, Candace. You are so right, it is the drug of choice (well, that and caffeine). I’m cutting sugar out for the next 6 weeks and doing a bit of a detox, and it’s not easy. But you are so on point when you say, everything is permissible but not everything is beneficial. Thanks for sharing your story with us.
Thank you for the prayer, Sarah! I will definitely say one for your detox as well. I think all bodies could use a break from all the harsh things we feed them. I’m looking forward to getting to that wonderful place where the cravings start to disappear and my moods readjust properly ;).
I’m sitting here applauding you, Candace, celebrating your recovery, your wisdom, the ways you encourage the rest of us in getting and staying emotionally healthy and strong.
Yes and amen to getting candy out of the house. A week or so without sugar freed me from my cravings a few years back.
Til I let that chocolate come back into the house.
Thanks for the gentle nudge today, friend. Blessings to you!
Thanks so much, Linda! I’m still a little in shock it’s been 18 years. So exciting. I’ve got Halloween candy in my house and it is literally calling my name! I’m doing good staying out of it but I don’t like the temptation. I’ve corralled it into one ziploc bag full for my son. He has 2 weeks to eat it then I’m tossing it. He, unlike me, could leave it in there until next year without touching it ;). Blessings to you as well, my friend!
Congratulations on 18 years, Candace! That’s definitely something to celebrate. And like others who have commented I am impressed and challenged by your commitment to going sugar-free. As you say we don’t think of it as such a bad addiction compared to alcohol and drugs, but anything that controls us is not good.
Thank you, Lesley! I completely agree with you about whatever controls us is a problem. Sugar definitely controls so much of me. It sounds crazy but even my moods are thrown completely out of whack because of it. I’m feeling strong today. Hoping that strength stays around ;).
Sooooo…
Wanna meet next on Twitter?
I was fed formula in 1958-1959. Kayro syrup was an ingredient. Little own my mother ate sugar everyday from conception on.
So to me it’s sustenance.
But we’re here again…day one!
Thanks for your honestly!
We can do this!
Hi Emily!! I didn’t know Kayro syrup was in formula. That would definitely mean my life started with it as well. My mom loved to cook so I always saw food as love growing up. I think a lot of us grew up with those feelings. So I really have a problem with over consuming all food but sugar seems to be the main culprit.
We’ve got this, my friend. I hope your day went well. I’m here if you need to chat.
Toll House chocolate chip cookies coming fresh out of the oven as I walked in from school…oh baby!
At age 18 I looked at my breakfast cookie, and told my friends “there has to a quota with chocolate. Probably at age 40 I’ll be done”.
Which seemed like an eternity away. Oddly enough that’s about when it starting catching up to me.
Did you know sugar is one component away from cocaine? And 8x harder to quit than heroin?
But we’re doing it!
Much love!
And appreciation for standing up against what the enemy had for us!
Emily ?
It all started catching up to me after 40 as well, Emily. It’s been even worse after 45 ;). I’ve read that about sugar being compared to cocaine and heroin in those ways. That’s so scary!
I hope you are still hanging in there. Seven days and counting :). Much love to you!
Oh my gosh the sugar on my counter is killing me right now! And it all is the good stuff. Thanks for this very timely post my friend 🙂 You are awesome! Hugs!
I’m having the same struggle with the Halloween candy, Jen! And of course I bought it so it’s all my faves. I’m giving my son 2 weeks with it then it will be in the trash :). Hugs to you, my friend!
Congratulations on 18 years! I also know how frustrating it is to go on Uncontrollable sugar binges. I just began a sugar detox to control Candida. I am starting with pure sugars, then cutting out fruit and limiting starches for a while. It will be rough. Your post is making me think more about not ever adding sugar back in at the end of this detox. Thank you for the Bible verse as well. I had never applied it to eating. Blessings to you!
Thank you, Barbara! It’s a happy milestone. I think I have severe Candida issues as well. I know eventually I’ll need to limit fruits and starches as you are doing, but I’m just going with pure sugars for the time being. I would love to do a detox and eventually reintroduce sugar, but that never works for me ;). The addict in me just keeps wanting more. Many blessings to you too! Let me know how your detox goes!
Candace, I am celebrating your anniversary of sobriety with huge cheers over here! 18 years!!! And to think Halloween is THE day to have your anniversary, oh the irony! To think you have to be surrounded by ALLTHESUGAR on this annual BIG day while struggling with your sugar addiction is down right hard.
I am praying for strength and – AND for grace to be poured onto you each day you take those baby steps forward with the risk of a few steps back, my friend. None of this is easy. But your heart? Now that is always beautiful, always pure, and always faithful. God sees your heart. THAT is what counts most.
It really is so ironic, Chris. I seem to live that way often ;). Thanks so much for your sweet words and prayers, my friend! Seven days and counting…
I just found you through Barb Raveling’s pinterest page and there is SO much to explore on your site! I am finding a lot of helpful information and look forward to spending time here as I look to kick the food addiction, as well. I especially appreciate the spiritual emphasis, as Barb’s site includes, as well. It’s the only way to have victory!
I’m so glad to have you here, Sandy! God really is the way to victory. I couldn’t agree with you more. I’m looking forward to getting to know you and walking this journey together :).