I must confess. I’ve been angry at God. That ugly, incredibly uncomfortable, I can’t even talk to you kind of anger. Have you been there?
Many times over the course of my lifetime I’ve found myself in that space. There were years trapped deep in the throes of my addictions. I remember wondering why He abandoned me for so long. Once I entered recovery, I finally realized He was always by my side or there’s no way I would have survived those long, dark days.
When my daughter was diagnosed with diabetes a year and a half after her father lost his life to the same disease, I was furious with God. The thought of my baby girl dealing with an illness I watched her dad slowly die from became too much for me to bear. I so needed to turn to Him in those overwhelming moments, but instead I did the opposite.
I eventually found my way back to Him only to end up with that same intense anger years later in the back of an ambulance by my son’s side as he battled a grand mal seizure, right before his epilepsy diagnosis. The darkness and inability to understand these afflictions placed on my precious little ones wouldn’t allow me to let God in at a time I needed Him the most.
After finally realizing my children’s illnesses would someday become their sermons, I knew He would use these struggles to allow them to serve others in very special and significant ways. By opening my heart to God, my anger eventually turned to understanding and trust again.
This doesn’t by any means imply that I don’t get angry at God anymore. I still find myself back there every now and then, but thankfully it looks quite different these days.
Please join me at ArabahJoy.com today to read what I’ve learned about dealing with those unavoidable times we find ourselves angry with God…