Do you struggle with sugar addiction? Studies have shown not only what sugar does to our bodies and minds but also the difficulty of breaking free from its tight grasp. Many of us have heard all about this type of research, yet we continue to inhale foods dripping with sugar and their equally devastating fake counterparts.
You can read more about the dangers in Toxic Sugar or why to avoid artificial sweeteners as well in Sweet Misery, but today I want to share how I’m finally breaking free from this addiction. It has been a long and difficult journey, but I think I’ve found the key.
Seven weeks ago, I adopted the concept of Living As If. Along with this new way of life, I quit sugar and quickly started using the simple mantra “I don’t eat sugar” throughout the day. This worked incredibly well until I added the equally short, but sweet “except on special occasions” to the end of it.
If you’ve ever tried this, you know how easy it is to use any special occasion to allow yourself an unnecessary treat. So the week of Easter, I decided to have one of my long lost lattes. This, of course, led to 10 days of “special occasions” totaling 4 lattes, 5 girl scout cookies, and a creme brûlée.
Now this could still be seen as somewhat of a success considering the pre-“I don’t eat sugar” me would indulge in daily lattes, entire boxes of cookies, and desserts at every meal out. However, each taste of these sugary concoctions sent me straight back into the painful pits of my addiction. I could suddenly hear a constant scream from the girl scout cookies in my pantry when they hadn’t even whispered to me in the prior weeks. Cravings began to overwhelm me again and take up far too much headspace.
Around this time, I stumbled upon Tsh Oxenreider’s The Art of Simple Podcast with Gretchen Rubin. One of my biggest takeaways was the fact we are, by nature, either abstainers or moderators. Gretchen shared this important thought: The problem with being an abstainer using moderation is we will become obsessed with that item or substance.
I’m definitely an abstainer. I must be all or nothing in certain areas. Just as I know I can’t have a glass of champagne on New Year’s Eve due to issues with alcohol, I now understand creme brûlée is off the table (literally) for Easter Sunday.
If you continue to struggle with sugar addiction no matter how hard you try to cut back, perhaps you are an abstainer too. Here’s the beautifully relieving news: the longer you stay away from sugar and artificial sweeteners, the cravings get weaker and will eventually disappear.
I used to think I shouldn’t have to give up anything else after the struggle of leaving drugs and alcohol behind over 16 years ago. Now I see it’s just how I’m wired. All or nothing. Letting go of sugar is empowering NOT limiting.
We can do this together! I would love to help each other on this continued journey. Please subscribe to the weekly newsletter so we can get to know each other better.
Are you an abstainer or a moderator? Let us know how you’re wired or anything else you want to share in the comments…
No temptation has overtaken you except what is common to mankind. And God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, he will also provide a way out so that you can endure it.
~1 Corinthians 10:13
This post is part of the monthly Turning to Food series. You can learn more about my food addiction story in An Addict’s Journey or you may want to check out some of the other monthly updates.
Oh my, you know how I feel about doughnuts. I have gotten rid of all of my other sugar baddies, but I can’t do that. Not yet. Maybe someday 🙂
You are right though that the more junk we free ourselves from the more liberated we really are. Great post my friend. I hope you come over and link one of your inspiring pieces over at my new Happy Now Link Up!
I think if you can eat them in moderation you are doing fine, Jen. I’m definitely not wired that way. If I kept a box of doughnuts around, I would probably polish it off in one sitting. They are not safe for me ;). Thanks for the invite to your new Happy party!!
Hi Candace! I am a definite abstainer. Once I get a little sugar, all I want is more of it! No handful of M and M’s for me. That bag is definite danger of being eaten.
I like the idea of being empowered as opposed to feeling deprived. That helps when I socialize with friends around food. There’s a lot of going out for meals, and I have to feel ok not eating as much as they do. Instead of being self-conscious, I should feel good about my choices.
Again, you are speaking right to me…
Ceil
I’m not a handful of M and M’s girl either, Ceil. It can be frustrating at times but shifting focus to empowerment instead of deprivation really helps. Thanks for sharing your thoughts, my friend :).
I think I must be an abstainer, too, Candace. Like Ceil, I have a weakness for M and M’s. Or anything chocolate. If it’s in the house, I find myself eating it before I even realize it. But I can’t not have it in the house as my kids and grandkids love chocolate chip or M and M cookies. I feel like I have no will power at all. Especially these last months. I have prayed about it, but I still fall into emotional eating. I am on Prednisone all the time, and that makes a person more hungry, but I don’t want to use that excuse either. 🙁 I’m so proud of you for the progress you’re making.
Medications can really mess up our eating choices, Trudy. Don’t be hard on yourself, my friend. I’m an emotional eater as well. That’s a tough habit to break. I was devastated when my cute little neighbor girl came over selling girl scout cookies because I knew my hubby and son would want some. They stayed in our pantry for awhile before I got into them. Once I had the first one, those cravings hit me. I have to just stay completely away from them. They are back out of my system now so I can walk past them without much of a struggle which is a miracle for me. However, I’m still eating other unhealthy foods at times. I’m trying to take this one step at a time :). I feel your pain. I really do! Praying for you.
Yes, I get this –>’I must be all or nothing in certain areas.’
Big time.
Your post has helped me understand a bit more about myself and how / why I respond to a variety of situations {not just sugar!} the way I do.
Thanks, Candace … I appreciate your wisdom.
I think the abstainer vs. moderator concept can be carried over into many situations, Linda. I completely agree! I used to think of my all or nothing nature as a curse. Now I’m just trying to work with it the best I can and put a positive spin on it :). That’s the best we can do!
I am more of a moderator in theory, but still I need to do better as sugar and carbs in general are my weakness. Thanks for the push here to do a better job now!! 🙂
Sugar is such a common weakness, Janine. It has been my struggle for so many years. Being a moderator has always been a dream of mine, but I’ve finally realized it’s just not going to happen ;).
Every person I’ve talked to who cuts out sugar says that same thing: the longer you stay off it, the weaker the cravings become.
It’s amazing how true that simple statement is, Jenny. I would never have believed it until I experienced it for myself. Unfortunately even a small slip like one latte can bring the cravings flooding back to me though.
The idea of being an abstainer or a moderator is very interesting! I’m slowly cutting back on sugar and am eating more fruit to help switch off processed sugar 🙂
Fruit has helped me tremendously as well, Akaleistar. I’m loving clementines these days :).
Oh my gosh Candace, that is such an incredible insight! I have never thought of us all in those two categories, but yes- this makes perfect sense.
I’m SO glad you have figured out a significant piece to this new journey you are on, my friend!
I had to chuckle with your “But only on occasions”. You’re so adorable. 🙂
I think of so many people in each of those categories- I’m having all kinds of light bulbs going off over here!
Thanks for sharing this with us, Candace. We can reap the benefits of all that you learn along the way. I’m grateful for that.
I was having all kinds of light bulbs going off listening to that podcast, Chris. There are so many interesting concepts in it. I truly love sharing these tidbits as they come into my life. Changing over to more of a health focus in this space is helping me tremendously. I’m so glad you are benefitting as well, my friend :)!
Candace, this is such a good post because it is true! I have been cutting back on sugar and starches mainly to get migraines under control. I needed this reminder so that I stay strong 🙂 Thank you! May you experience much success on this journey!
I really need to start cutting back on starches too, Joanne. I’m trying to take it one step at a time. Too often I try to make 10 changes at once and it always sets me up for failure. Migraines can be so debilitating. I’ve struggled with them as well. I hope you are feeling relief soon as the benefits of your healthy changes start to kick in. Stay strong :)!
There is much food for though here, Candace, and I want to sit here and ponder a bit. I want to think about this idea of abstainers and moderators a little more and really consider the message… because there is something deep in it. I can’t articulate exactly what I am thinking other than to say, thank you for making me stop and think about it.
Blessings,
Dawn
The rest of the podcast is wonderful, Dawn. Lots of food for thought, far too much to share here. I had many AHA moments, but the abstainer concept definitely stood out the most :). Blessings to you as well!
Oh I love this Candice! What a great reminder for me. I am a food addict in recovery for 7 years. I find that I am not addicted to sigar per se just certain foods such as hard candies and pretzels. Those are like crack to me. However, I have noticed that as I continue to fast daily for 16 hours my cravings are becoming more pronounced so I decided to cut back on my fasting times. You reminded me that I do have an issue with food and that I cannot handle food like others and that is so freeing and empowering! I love reading your blog.
Thank you, Maureen! I have to work with my fasting times as well. It’s a fine line. It has taken me a long time to come to grips with my food addiction. I always thought I didn’t have willpower or I was just a stress eater, but it goes so much deeper than that. I know you get it :). It’s always great to have you here!
I need to do this. THanks for the important reminder!!
I personally think quitting sugar is one of the best gifts we can give ourselves, Kristen. I hope this works out well for you!
Well I believe I am an abstainer. If I give myself an inch, I will take a mile. You have great insights into the why behind what we do and I find this very helpful. I am so proud of you and the journey you are on. You got this and I can’t wait to hear more about it.
Thanks for the encouragement, Mary! I’m the same with the inch/mile concept. A little always turns into far too much. I so get this :). We must hang out soon and catch up.
I’m more of an abstained too. There are some sweets that I can do in moderation. But for the most part it’s best if I abstain from sweets. Luckily, I have found that pineapples, sweet potatoes, plantains, and sweeter foods can do the trick for me.
Sweeter whole foods have really been helping me through this as well, Sonya. It’s amazing how much tastier a piece of fruit can be when abstaining from sugar :). They actually work as treats now for me.
Oh my…in my heart I know the truth of this, the craving is fierce. Appreciate the research links.
The craving is so fierce, Lisa. I feel your pain! You will be surprised though how far you will come in just a week with no sugar and artificial sweeteners. Let me know if I can support you in any way :).
Huh. I think I am a moderator except when it comes to sugar? For a couple years, I had very little sugar and felt much better. But last year, once I started allowing some back in, I kind of got lost again. I am getting some new recipes to make dinner time easier.
My husband drinks Coke all day and makes fun of me for still following my mom’s 2 cookie rule. Our girls are only allowed 2 as well! 🙂
If you can follow the 2 cookie rule, you’re doing pretty good, Sarah :). I just can’t stop at 2. That’s a great habit to teach your girls. It’s definitely showing how to moderate! I really need to work on some new dinner recipes as well. We eat out way too much and all of those desserts walking by us are incredibly tempting.
Uh-oh. I feel so guilty. I’m a dessert person.
Don’t feel guilty, Lux! You may be one of those lucky moderators :).
So, my friend, I really love this. You know that for lent I totally gave up sugar and was doing so well. Cravings were almost non existent and I was feeling great! The old me, however, continued to look to our family Easter celebration as the day I could return to “a little bit” of sugar. And, honestly, on that day I did pretty well. A little bit was okay. It got too sweet really fast. My plan was just to allow a little sugar then, on weekends and stay off of it during the week. Well, I must be an abstainer, because once the floodgates opened, my weekends and weekdays blended right together and I have had so many chocolate covered marshmallow eggs (you know they were half price after Easter:). Ughhh! I don’t want to be an abstainer. I want to be a moderator – but that is just not true in any area of my life. All or nothing baby!
I’m so with you on this, Beth. I want to be a moderator too, my dear friend. Even after writing this, I stopped for a latte after my Saturday weigh in, thinking just one won’t hurt… Well, I’m sure you can fill in the rest of the weekend. I literally felt hungover this morning. No sugar today though! It’s never too late for us abstainers to start over.
Ohhh sugar… it is definitely a love/hate relationship on my end. I want to stop, but every few weeks I get sucked back in. I’ve been slowly using honey, for instance, in my coffee and tea as well as enjoying yogurt with fruit during these times, but it is definitely a process. Thanks so much for sharing!!
A love/hate relationship is a perfect description! It’s the same for me. I’ve found honey to be a great alternative for me as well. I know it’s sugar too, but it doesn’t affect my body and cravings the same way.
Yes! I love seeing this Candace! Sugar addiction is something most people struggle with. I definitely have a sweet tooth but rarely eat anything with refined sugar (except when I’m baking…but most of what I bake I give away). It takes time but once you can cut it out it’s so much easier to not eat.
It really is amazing how much abstinence helps the cravings, Tiffany. You are so right about the majority of us having this struggle. It’s a tough one because sugar is everywhere. I’m impressed you give most of your baked goods away. Unfortunately I always ate most of mine so I really don’t bake much anymore ;).
Hi Candace, I’m a moderator, which usually works for me (except this week was Easter and I’m still nibbling chocolate on a daily basis). I find if I cut things out I become obsessed, but if I know I can have some if I want, but am choosing not to I can handle it. Not drinking alcohol or smoking doesn’t bother me, but I can’t imagine a world without sugar.
My husband is very all or nothing, with no in between.
xx
I would love to be a moderator, Debbie. I’m very much like your husband, no in between :). I’m still trying to work through this sugar struggle. It will probably continue to be a battle for me until I finally truly give it up completely. Unfortunately like you, I just can’t imagine no more sugar in my world. This is a change that must happen though for me to find recovery. Being an abstainer does not work with even tiny nibbles. You are one of the lucky ones!
I’m an abstainer, and I just can’t do it. I’ve tried so many times I can’t count. I walk past a Starbucks on my way to the office and I can’t not stop. How do you do it when you have to have food every day?
I’m so with you in this struggle, Cindy. I’m sorry for the delayed response. I’ve been on a little break with my daughter before she leaves for college in January. I must say the stress has sent me back to sugar in a major way. I’m starting over yet again. We can do this together :). I truly believe abstaining completely from sugar is the way to go. I know it’s incredibly difficult but every time I get it out of my system, the cravings subside and I really don’t want to go back to that addicted state until I slip up and bring sugar back into my body. The key for me in the past is being vigilant in reading labels and avoiding all sugar and artificial sweeteners. There’s a great plan I used for my 31 Days to Food Addiction Recovery series at https://www.foodaddictsanonymous.org/. Let me know if you have any questions about it. You can find the series I referred to here: https://candaceplayforth.com/31-days-to-food-addiction-recovery/.
Hello, i have a problem with compulsive overeating but not only with sugar.. its with everything in general. I consider myself a compulsive grazer haha. Even if its just mashed potatoes sitting on the counter, i cant help myself. But, if i have a double chocolate chip muffin and split it 30/70 with my husband, i have no issues with controlling myself. It seems to be only when i have unlimited access to yummy foods, sweet or otherwise. For this reason, i count my calories. It helps me keep myself in check, and also doesnt allow me to make exceptions in my diet. When i hit my goal weight i may allow more exceptions in my diet, but i still have to be extremely careful not to go overboard.
I can completely relate to compulsive grazing, Nonarae! That’s great you can control yourself when sharing sweets with your husband. Once I eat my 30%, it just makes me want more ;). I try to keep sugary foods out of my house. Like you, I absolutely can’t have unlimited access to them. I need my home to be my “safe space.”
Hello Candice. Thanks for the post. I am the same way. I have to do all or nothing. Today is March 6th and I have not had any sweets since Dec. 31. You are absolutely right about the cravings lessens as time passes. I don’t have cravings at all. My husband (truck driver) is so supportive that he keeps his sweets in his truck so I am not tempted. Thanks for the motivation and support.
Hi Emma! You are doing great. I’m so happy to hear your cravings are gone. What a gift. And how wonderful that you have such a supportive hubby. It makes a huge difference! I fell off the wagon lately. It’s so frustrating because the cravings take over again so quickly. I’m getting right back up though! I’ve learned I can allow myself honey occasionally as it doesn’t trigger the cravings processed sugar creates in me. It really helps when I’m trying to get clean again ;). Keep me posted on how you’re doing! We’ve got this!!