Soul Archives | Candace Playforth

3 Ways to Overcome Worry

I’m a chronic worrier. I’ve spent many overwhelmed days with thoughts of imaginary circumstances raining down on my kids, our current political climate, my health taking a nosedive… the list is endless.

And now I have the rapidly approaching birth of my first grandchild! Where will I find the time to add all of her possibilities to those constant dark thoughts?

Can you relate? Do you spend an obscene amount of time trapped in unwanted scenarios? Let’s talk about some ways we can break free from those moments and enjoy more peace today.

Worrying is praying for stuff you don’t want.
~Jen Sincero

I heard Jen speak those words on a podcast once and it stopped me dead in my tracks. That thought has haunted me ever since. I don’t want to bring these doomsday scenarios down on the people I love.

So here are 3 ways I’m finding freedom. I hope they serve you as well.

1. Bring your worries into the light

I’m an introvert, so my natural instinct is to keep all my thoughts buried deep inside that spinning head of mine. This is not at all how we were created. We’re meant to help carry each other’s burdens.

Share each other’s burdens, and in this way obey the law of Christ.
-Galatians 6:2 (NLT)

I have a great group of girlfriends. We try to meet a couple of times a month to chat and go through a study together. Our current book is Anxious for Nothing by Max Lucado.

We had our first meeting for this much needed guide last week. All of our worries were literally brought to the table from our dark minds into the light of that bright morning. We all felt some pretty intense stress as we uncovered our hidden fears.

But here’s the beautiful part, I feel so much better today after sharing all those scary mom thoughts with friends I trust and adore.

Two people are better off than one, for they can help each other succeed. If one person falls, the other can reach out and help. But someone who falls alone is in real trouble. A person standing alone can be attacked and defeated, but two can stand back-to-back and conquer. Three are even better, for a triple-braided cord is not easily broken.
-Ecclesiastes 4: 9-10, 12 (NLT)

If you don’t have a trusted friend to work through this with, a therapist is certainly an alternative. Just get those thoughts somewhere outside of your head. It’s far too easy to stay stuck when we let our worries stay deep within us.

Satan loves to work in our dark corners. Please don’t allow him that satisfaction.

2. Tapping/Emotional Freedom Technique (EFT)

Tapping, also known as EFT, came into my life several years ago. Like so many great resources I’ve acquired over time, I haven’t used this as I should. I tend to self-sabotage quite often.

Anyway, this technique is a series of tapping on certain points of your body. While doing this, speak out loud about what’s bothering you. It starts with a setup statement such as “Even though I feel overwhelmed with worry about ___, I deeply and completely accept myself.”

Next you move through the points, first stating all the negative you’re feeling, then switch to positive thoughts. It truly works like a charm for me. I’m now using an app to help me do this consistently and I already see a huge difference.

For more information, visit The Tapping Solution. You can also read about one of my favorite EFT books in Tapping Your Way to Stress-Free Living.

3. Aromatherapy

We all know the incredibly positive effect of smells. Does the memory of your grandmother’s freshly baked cookies or your newborn baby’s freshly bathed skin bring a smile to your face? This is thanks to a deep connection between scent and emotions.

From Emotional Benefits of Aromatherapy, a dōTERRA ebook:
“In the early 1990s, substantial research helped biologists better understand how the brain reacts to aromas. This research proved what people of ancient civilizations had already put into practice—essential oils can be used to create responses within the body, particularly to benefit and influence emotions. Although the science of emotions still holds significant mystery, we know that there is a connection between scent and emotions. Because of this connection, we also know that aromatherapy is a useful tool for managing emotions and uplifting mood.”

Here are 3 blissful blends I’m loving right now!

Liquid Calm: 2 drops of each: Vetiver, Serenity*, Balance* (for my rollerball recipe of this blend, check out 4 Steps to Your Best Sleep Ever)

Grounded in Peace: 2 drops of each: Peace*, Balance*, Juniper Berry

Perfectly Peaceful: 3 drops Peace*, 2 drops Ylang Ylang, 1 drop Whisper*

*dōTERRA blends. For more info on these powerful natural solutions, how to get started, and current specials, please visit my Essential Oils page.

Are you a fellow worrier? What are your favorite ways to move past those overwhelming thoughts? I would love to hear from you in the comment section below.

Do you waste too much time worrying? Check out these 3 ways to overcome that unnecessary habit and find #peace today!

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Do you waste too much time worrying about your kids, possible health issues, life in general…? Check out these 3 ways to overcome that unnecessary habit and find peace today! #parenting #worry

As always, thank you for walking this journey with me. If you’re new here, please subscribe to our free newsletter to receive new posts by email.

How to Enjoy Life Today

Mind, Soul

Do you get caught up in the vicious cycle of when (fill in the blank) happens, then I will be happy? Your waiting game might be losing weight or making more money. Maybe you’re exhausted from changing diapers all day and are certain your joy will return when all of your littles are finally potty trained.

I spent far too much of my lifetime waiting for something big to occur rather than enjoying my present circumstances, the beauty of what was right in front of me.

When our kids are little, we anxiously await their first steps, the end of diapers, the day they can feed themselves… From a mom of grown children who desperately misses holding her babies while they slept, please enjoy whatever stage you’re in right now with your precious kids. Each of those special moments only happen once.

My ongoing battle with food addiction causes a massive amount of unnecessary negative self-talk. When I lose weight, then I will be happy, want to get out more, have more energy… But here’s the truth: I can be happy, social, energized… TODAY!

I’m so excited about my growing essential oil business. I want to enjoy each new friend gained, dollar earned, and fear conquered. Instead I seem to get caught up in WHEN I have this many customers, make enough money to pay off my house, or suddenly find myself fearless, THEN I will be totally content, happy, and peaceful.

Our kids’ needs, weight issues, and unmet goals aren’t what hold us back. Our mindset handles that all by itself.

Please remember this: We aren’t promised tomorrow. This is not a dress rehearsal.

It’s easy to get stuck in thoughts of when (fill in the blank) happens, then I’ll be happy. Learn how to shift your mindset and enjoy life to the fullest exactly where you are today!

Find time today to enjoy #life. We aren’t promised tomorrow. This is not a dress rehearsal! #findingjoy

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You don’t even know what will happen tomorrow. What is your life? It is a mist that appears for a little while. Then it disappears.
~James 4:14 (NIRV)

Every precious moment, tiny victory, or healthier choice needs to be savored. The journey is what counts. Holding off on peace and joy until we reach our destination is a devastating thought process.

There’s always a new goal to reach or mountain to climb. If we continually wait to arrive rather than enjoy the everyday, life loses its sparkle. We deserve the sparkle.

I’m a huge fan of Pinterest, but I think it’s a disservice at times. We see people’s highlight reels and expect our normal daily lives to measure up. It actually doesn’t take that much to find true happiness. We don’t need the perfect recipe, kid’s craft, or home organization system to fulfill us.

You gain a lot when you live a godly life. But you must be happy with what you have. We didn’t bring anything into the world. We can’t take anything out of it. If we have food and clothing, we will be happy with that.
~1 Timothy 6:6-8 (NIRV)

Finding contentment. Loving God. Enjoying our people and everyday moments. Celebrating every tiny step forward. These are the things that will bring us joy. Let’s drop that unnecessary WHEN…, THEN… habit and find all the happiness we deserve today.

It’s easy to get stuck in thoughts of when (fill in the blank) happens, then I’ll be happy. Learn how to shift your mindset and enjoy life to the fullest exactly where you are today!

As always, thank you so much for joining me on this journey. Subscribe to my newsletter if you would like to receive updates by email. Let’s hang out on Facebook and Instagram as well!

Dear Moms, Stop Hiding Behind the Camera

Body, Mind, Soul

Do you hide behind the camera, always playing photographer? I’m here to encourage you today to get on the other side and jump in those beautiful pictures of your family.

I get it. I really do. For so many years, I hid from any camera pointed my way. My poor hubby has been at the losing end of many outbursts on this subject.

As the years pass and the extra weight of babies and life takes hold of our bodies, too many of us mommies avoid pictures with our kids. I have so many adorable images from over the years of my family. But I’m missing in far too many of them, unnecessarily ashamed of what I look like from the newly formed wrinkles and pounds.

I want to share with you today that I’m done with that and I hope to encourage you to be as well. I’ve cried many prayers to finally look at a picture of myself and not see all the flaws. I’m making great strides with this too common dilemma.

My beautiful daughter got married recently and this, of course, included a great deal of family pictures such as these…

These images will forever remind me of one of the most incredible days our family has spent together. They will live on for generations to come and I’m thankful to be in them. Instead of seeing the many pounds I was certain I would lose before this glorious event, I remember those joyous smiles on our faces as we added a new family member to our crazy, loving brood.

This is a huge shift for me and one I hope to help you come to as well. Quit hiding behind the camera. I immensely adore photos of my kids as much as the next mom, but they will so appreciate having us in some of those precious mementos.

Let’s jump in those pictures! When our adult children look back on them years from now, they won’t see things like aging and thigh spread. They will see the women who loved them more than life itself and these captured images will be some of the greatest keepsakes we will leave them.

Dear #Moms, jump in those pictures! They will be your #kids most precious keepsakes someday.

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This newfound confidence even led me to finally embark on professional headshots for this online space and my Essential Oil business. I’m so thankful to Katie from Katie Moore Photography for making me feel comfortable and beautiful during my fun, recent shoot with her. Here’s a few of those moments:

Do I see perfection and absolutely love looking at these? No. I’m not quite that evolved. I still notice extra pounds, drooping eyelids, crooked smiles… But I’m so thrilled to have these special photographs and will never regret taking the time and money to get them done.

Even if you can’t afford to head over to a professional at this time, please let me encourage you to have someone take some pictures of you alone. Give yourself that gift to just loosen up and find some comfort on the other side of the camera lens. You won’t regret it, and your people will really appreciate you for leaving that sweet photoshoot behind.

True beauty is so much more than those imperfections we see in ourselves. Remember this important fact when you stare down a recent 4×6 of yourself:

Your beauty should come from the inside. It should come from the heart. This is the kind that lasts. Your beauty should be a gentle and quiet spirit. In God’s sight this is of great worth and no amount of money can buy it.
~1 Peter 3:4 (NLV)

Believe it or not, that lasting inner beauty will always shine through in those captured images for years to come…

Are you ready to jump in all those adorable family pics? Share your thoughts in the comments. I would love to hear from you!

For more encouragement on dealing with this much too common issue, check out How to Feel Beautiful at Any Weight.

Food is Not Your Therapist

Addiction, Biblical Living, Body, Emotional Health, Mind, Soul

My daughter’s wedding is just around the corner. As with all big upcoming events, I’ve been watching every morsel of food entering my mouth. Why can’t we eat like that all the time? I guess that’s a discussion for another day…

Here’s what I’ve learned from this sudden onset of healthy choices and no late night buttered popcorn. When we don’t have our usual binge-worthy foods to disappear into, life gets real. But we must remember this important fact: Food is not our therapist.

I’ve always known I turn to food for almost every reason but proper nutrition. Emotional support, loneliness, not enough sleep the night before… But lately I had to find other avenues to solve those issues. Self-care, playing games with my family, sleeping in…

I’m quickly deciding I like these other choices better than turning to unhealthy foods. After the wedding, I don’t want to go back to using food as my therapist! I would love to keep choosing those healthier options. Are you with me?

Self-care feels amazing on so many levels. Hanging out with the people I love leaves me refreshed, not with a stomachache like overeating often does. And sleeping in, well, there’s no explanation needed there I’m sure. It’s a form of heaven on earth.

So what does a girl do when food is calling for that much needed therapy appointment? Here are some ideas that have worked for me over the years. I hope they serve you as well.

It would be crazy for me not to mention actual therapy here as it’s truly a wonderful option. I sought outside help many times in my life and will always be thankful for what I gained in those appointments.
In those emotionally unstable moments we all struggle with, try any form of self-care that helps you avoid eating. Check out 7 Ways to Practice Self-Care When Anxiety Hits to get you started. These can also work for anger, sadness, general stress…
Stay away from sugar! I know. That’s what we might crave the most as a therapist replacement. But sugar will lead to a binge pretty much every time. Learn more in How to Break Free From Sugar Addiction.
Last, but certainly not least, turn to God. I’m finding when I open my Bible app long before the Facebook one, my day starts out so much better. Regrouping with Him each morning makes that to-do list seem lighter. (My to-do list sends me to the pantry way too often!)

He will give us far greater peace than that bag of chips or box of Oreos. And the difference in the aftereffect of prayer verses a food binge is immeasurable.

Then Jesus said, “Come to me, all of you who are weary and carry heavy burdens, and I will give you rest.”
~Matthew 11:28 (NLT)

Do you need help for overeating? Quit using food as your therapist. Check out these great tips for choosing self-care over an unhealthy binge. You deserve a healthy body, mind, and soul today! #foodaddiction #overeating #healthylifestyle #healthychoices #selfcare #weightloss #therapy

As always, thank you for being on this journey with me. If you are new here, please subscribe to my free newsletter.

This article is part of my Turning to Food series. You can learn more about my food addiction story in An Addict’s Journey or you may want to check out some of the other monthly updates.

Do you need help with #overeating? Quit using food as your #therapist. Check out these great tips!

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When Mental Illness Consumes Your Life

Biblical Living, Emotional Health, Mind, Soul

Recent news of wealthy celebrities ending seemingly picture perfect lives shocked the world. For those of us who understand exactly how mental illness consumes lives, sadly, it really wasn’t as surprising as it should have been.

Kate Spade was one of my favorite creators. It’s devastating using was after her infamous name. She had such an eye for beauty and with her fun old school vibe and beehive style hair, I would not have guessed she struggled with the darkness I dealt with for so many years.

I’ve spent a lot of time there, stuck in that scary overwhelming space. Apparently, Kate did too, along with the much loved master chef, Anthony Bourdain. It makes us all stop and wonder who else we adore is fighting their own demons at this very moment I type these words.

Depression does not discriminate. Anxiety has no borders. These issues and all the other variants of mental illness can consume anyone at any time. One of the many facts I’ve come to understand over my lifetime of dealing with this: your current experiences, financial situation, family, job… can’t stop it from taking over.

Mental illness consumes lives. It doesn’t matter if you’re a celebrity, stay-at-home parent, student, teacher, or any other title we label others.

Depression has chained me to my bed on more days than I care to count or remember. Anxiety kept me tied to my couch for far too many hours afraid of fighting yet another panic attack in public.

I’ve used a combination of therapy, medication and natural solutions over the years. I’m in a better place now than I’ve ever been. But I remember the darkness well. As I’ve shared many times on this blog, it’s been a lifelong struggle.

I started this online space for those of us seeking greater health in body, mind, and soul. It truly is a combination of all 3 to keep us moving forward in the life God intends for us. I find my peace today in Him.

“I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.”
~John 16:33

This life will never be perfect. We each have our crosses to bear. Mental illness is one of mine. Thankfully I’ve found a way to not only endure life, but to actually enjoy it on a level I never thought possible. Some days, life even amazes me.

I always look to my very favorite verse for encouragement in my most difficult moments:

“For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.”
~Jeremiah 29:11

God has a plan for you, to give you hope and a future. Don’t ever give up on getting there.

Mental illness consumes lives. Don’t give up on finding the #hope and future intended for you!

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I feel it absolutely necessary to include this for anyone feeling hopeless today. If you or someone you love needs help, please call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline 1-800-273-TALK (8255). Counselors are available 24 hours everyday.

Thank you for being here. I would love for you to subscribe to my free newsletter and continue this journey with me. Recovery is possible.

How to Feel Beautiful at Any Weight

Biblical Living, Body, Emotional Health, Mind, Soul

Do you stand in front of your mirror every morning thinking, I feel beautiful today? I want to learn to say yes to that question no matter what the number on that dreaded scale just screamed at me. How about you?

I recently developed an obsession with a woman I found online, Jenna Kutcher. She is a young lady, beautiful inside and out, who went viral through this Instagram post of her and her handsome, chiseled hubby walking on the beach:

Someone once slid into my DMs and told me they couldn’t believe I had managed to land a guy as good looking as @kickingitwithkutch. I’ll be honest that I was taken aback. ✨ Part of my insecurity with my body has stemmed around being married to Mr. 6-Pack himself. Why should I, a curvy girl get him? I feel unworthy and when I write narratives in my head that because I am not thin, I don’t deserve him. 🙋🏼 This man has embraced every curve, every dimple, pound and pimple for the last ten years and has always me reminded me that I’m beautiful even when my inner dialogue doesn’t match. 🙌🏻 So yes, my thighs kiss, my arms are big, and my bum is bumpy but there is just more of me for him to love and I chose the man that could handle alllll that (and so much more!) ✨ I am so much more than my body, so is he, and so are you. Double tap if true love doesn’t see size. Photo by: @mrslindseyroman

A post shared by JENNA KUTCHER (@jennakutcher) on Mar 14, 2018 at 4:17pm PDT

Someone actually sent her a message telling her how surprised they were she landed a man as good looking as her 6-pack husband. I won’t even go into how I feel about the messenger and how absolutely mortified I am humans could treat each other in such a way. That’s a whole other topic…

Here’s the part I love about this story. Jenna didn’t shut down her Instagram or even delete the picture over what this person thought about her. Instead she used this viral moment to serve all of us who have ever felt unworthy because of those dreaded extra pounds.

So yes, my thighs kiss, my arms are big, and my bum is bumpy but there is just more of me for him to love and I chose the man that could handle alllll that (and so much more!) I am so much more than my body, so is he, and so are you.
~Jenna Kutcher

Amen, Sister. There is more of us to love, my friend. And we are definitely so much more than our bodies.

I’m currently listening to Get Up! by James Levine. Just this morning, I heard him say, “Overweight people think of themselves unattractive or unworthy several times every hour.” Sadly, I know this can be true from personal experience and thoughts are a powerful force.

But let me offer this: I’ve stared at my reflection from 118 pounds all the way to 230. I can tell you those feelings of unworthiness and obsessions with imperfections showed up no matter what size pants I wore at the time.

True beauty shines from deep inside. There are days where I feel absolute peace with who I am. Those are the moments I can look in the mirror and see a gorgeous woman staring back at me.

That’s the key. Remember who you are. Remember whose you are… (Shout out to Chrystal Evans Hurst for enlightening me with those instructions in her wonderful book, She’s Still There.)

Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as elaborate hairstyles and the wearing of gold jewelry or fine clothes. Rather, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God’s sight.
~1 Peter 3:3-4

(Check out my Inner Beauty Mirror for a fun way to remind yourself of this inspiring verse.)

Did you smile at someone lately who was having a rough day? Have you kissed away a tear stained hurt from your child’s heart or body this week? Forgiven your spouse and moved on in an argument you know you should win?

You are breathtakingly beautiful…

Don’t wait until you hit goal weight to enjoy looking in the mirror and feel this truth. We are worthy today!

Don’t wait until goal weight to look in the mirror and feel beautiful. You are worthy today!

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I’m a work in progress with this as I am with so many of the topics I share in this online space. One thing helping right now is getting dressed every day. I know that sounds crazy, but since I work at home, I’ve been known to take my son AND pick him up from school in my pajamas.

I completely agree with the verse above that hair and clothes are not as important as our inner selves. But let’s be honest, they can certainly help us deal with our mirrors a little more lovingly.

I got new bangs last week. This forced me to try and somewhat fix my hair every morning so it wasn’t completely funky all day as no bangs more easily allowed.

So going to the trouble of trying to look better from the neck up inspired me to put on a decent outfit. This snowball effect is truly making me feel better about myself on so many levels. It reminds me of a piece of advice I’ve shared here before: Live As If.

Live as if you’ve already lost the weight. Put on a cute outfit every morning. Skip that weigh in every once in a while. Look in the mirror and praise that beautiful, strong, worthy woman glancing back at you. She is fabulous, inside and out…

As always, thank you for being on this journey with me. If you are new here, please subscribe to my free newsletter and join me on Facebook and Instagram.

This article is part of my Turning to Food series. You can learn more about my food addiction story in An Addict’s Journey or you may want to check out some of the other monthly updates.

Soul

3 Ways to Overcome Worry

1. Bring your worries into the light

2. Tapping/Emotional Freedom Technique (EFT)

3. Aromatherapy

How to Enjoy Life Today

Dear Moms, Stop Hiding Behind the Camera

Food is Not Your Therapist

When Mental Illness Consumes Your Life

How to Feel Beautiful at Any Weight

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