I am an emotional eater. For as long as I can remember, I have used food to numb me from the stresses of life. My constant need for sweet treats is my way out. I completely relate to Lysa TerKeurst’s thoughts on this struggle in her book Made to Crave:
“I’ve realized when the desire for treats is triggered by difficult emotions, it’s not really a desire for treats—it’s a thinly veiled attempt at self-medication. And self-medicating with food even once triggers vicious cycles I must avoid.”
Those vicious cycles…
My history with addiction is long and harsh. I self-medicated with drugs and alcohol for many years, and swapped those substances out for unhealthy foods the day I finally got sober.
I eat candy and donuts to deal with difficult life circumstances. Greasy, fried foods cover up loneliness. Most of all, I eat to try to contain the emotional roller-coaster of anxiety and depression.
About 10 years ago, I was finally diagnosed with these mental health issues I’ve struggled with since childhood. Suddenly, so much of my life started to make sense. I could finally understand all of those years of drug and alcohol abuse at such a frighteningly young age.
It was my way of self-medicating the horrible emotions I couldn’t figure out how to live with.
As I have gotten older and gained a decade and a half of sobriety, I still can’t cope with the emotions. So, I eat…
Thankfully, Lysa’s book is helping me see there is another way out, a much better way to survive the emotional ups and downs we all face.
So, how do we stop emotional eating?
We must deal with our triggers. We must identify our places of emotional emptiness and admit how futile it is to try and fill those places with food.
~Lysa TerKeurst
Like Lysa, I was abandoned by my father. He left a huge hole in my heart, self-esteem, and life. When he came to mind over the years, I turned to other things to fill me, all the wrong things. My long-lost dad is my trigger.
When my depression and anxiety overwhelm me, I try to calm their unwanted advances with food. Mental health struggles are my triggers.
By identifying these triggers like Lysa suggests, we can start to heal our wounds. I can find peace in God, my true Father, when I become wrapped up in that little girl whose daddy left her. God can fill our souls.
My mental health issues can’t be fixed with poor nutritional choices. In fact, unhealthy foods and the sedentary lifestyle that comes with them are the worst things for any type of emotional struggle.
I need to recognize the trigger approaching and cut it off. For me, that could mean more sleep, daily walks, or reaching out to someone who loves me.
We are more than our past, current, and future heartaches. Unfortunately, they are inevitable, but they don’t have to consume us.
We deserve strong, healthy bodies, which won’t come from wallowing in our sorrows and negative emotions. We deserve a life of healing and good choices that comes from filling ourselves with the love of the Lord, not the contents of a paper sack from a drive-thru window.
He is our portion…
Because of the Lord’s great love we are not consumed, for his compassions never fail. They are new every morning; great is your faithfulness. I say to myself, “The Lord is my portion; therefore I will wait for him.”
~Lamentations 3:22-24
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I am praying for you, Candace. My father passed at the age of 47 from heart disease … 35 years ago. I was in a play about Lazarus at the time, the theme being ‘there is no death’. That’s not the root of my issues, but it certainly didn’t help. Thank you for having the courage to share your story, and pray that it will help someone out there in their struggles. *HUGS*
Thank you for your prayers, LuAnn! Your father was only 3 years older than I am now. How difficult that must have been for you! Hugs to you, my friend!
Thank you for being so beautifully honest Candace. I am a self proclaimed EE too, and overcame it earlier in life, but it stemmed from the same reasons. Healthy foods and exercise were my “savior”, but it took a lot of emotional work too. I read Made to Crave when I was battling an eating disorder and in recovery. It changed my life and how I looked at food. Lysa is truly a wonderful author, and her book helped me in ways I’ll never forget. Geneen Roth’s book “When Food is Love” is also a powerful must-read I’d recommend. I lost my Dad too, and find it strange how so many of us women deal with that kind of hole through food. YOU CAN DO THIS<3 God has faith in you and has given you the heart and desire to do this. One thing that used to help me cope with depression and eating, since both seemed to make the other worse, was reminding myself that that food wouldn't be in my mouth but a few seconds. Yet, I had to deal with the guilt day after day, after day. I started seeing it that way, and over the course of a year, was able to stop binging and night time eating or pigging out on junk food from emotions. You can do this!<3 Lots of love<3
Your recovery is always so inspiring to me, Heather. Thank you for your encouragement! You give me hope :). I love your tip to remember the food only lasts a few minutes, but the guilt stays much longer. I’ll keep that in mind! I have heard of a few of Geneen’s books, but not When Food is Love. I will check that out.
I’m certinly going to get this book to add to my collection. I’m in recovery and have gained over 12 lbs. I’m also going thru menopause yuk! I would like to recommend another book by a Christian author Ashertiah Ciuciu called full. There are great free resources included in the book. We are all in this together. God Bless and it’s one day at a time
It’s a great book, Gail. Entering recovery really set off a great deal of weight gain for me as well. And I’m in peri-menopause which certainly hasn’t helped either. I can completely relate to what you’re going through. Thanks for the book recommendation. I met Asheritah at a blog conference a while ago and have been wanting to check out her book! Blessings to you and yes, one day at a time is the way to go :).
Thank you for sharing so much of yourself with us Candace. I am a stress eater myself. I have been wanting to read “Made to Crave” to help keep my motivated to turn away from the food and turn to God. Keep up the fight! You can do it!
It is a great book, Sandy! This is my second time reading it, and I’m sure it won’t be my last. Thanks so much for your support!
This is my favorite blog because of your transparency and humility. Everytime you write something new, I’m shaking my head in agreement as if you are talking about me! Almost spooky if I didn’t know it was God speaking thru u. I am also a recovering addict who struggles with sweets. I’ve recently been trying to view that cupcake, donut, cookie as I do my drugs- one is too many, and a thousand is never enough! I knew that I could never get enough pills, drugs etc. in the world to satisfy that demon living in me. I always wanted MORE. Put sweets in that sentence and it’s exactly the same thing. Once I start, the addiction has awakened from its slumber and starts chattering in my brain. I hate this disease but do trust that God will use it for good. I started exercising in December and yes I confess I feel better mentally and physically, but do I love it?? Uhh NO! I had gotten to that point much like my drugs, this has to stop! I refused to go buy yet a bigger size of pants so I could continue down yet another slippery slope. Am i cured? No!! Do I refuse any and all sweets? No!!! But as they say it’s about progress not perfection! Blessings and I thank you Candace for speaking into my life.
I was shaking my head in agreement with your whole comment, Gail! We must be very similar :). I completely understand- “one is too many, and a thousand is never enough!” I could never get enough of any of the awful substances I put in my body over the years either. That is the struggle of addiction. Blessings to you and thank you so much for your encouragement!
Candace, I appreciate your candor here. Also a recovered alcoholic, I replaced alcohol with sugar and would binge eat sweets. Jesus has since healed me of that and I’m astounded that now I can have one or two cookies not the whole plate – that really was not possible before. With God all things are possible as it was not my will; it just happened. I’ll be praying for you to be free from the food addiction; I know He will do this for you.
Thank you for the prayers, Laura! I look forward to the day I can have a cookie without the overwhelming need to finish the whole package. I so appreciate success stories like yours to give me hope and to remember “With God all things are possible.”
Thank you for sharing! I can really relate to emotional eating too! Stress is a big factor! I can really relate to the other addictions as well. My son is in jail for doing something stupid because of drugs. My husband and I are separated because of his alcoholism. Ever since this study, my whole attitude has changed and knowing God loves me and will see me through everything, give me so much hope!! Thank you for the encouragement! Praying for you and you accomplish many great things!!
I’m so sorry for the struggles you are dealing with, Jennifer! Addiction is a vicious monster and truly destroys relationships. I’m so glad to hear the study has helped you and given you hope. God absolutely loves us through whatever we are facing. Praying for you and your family!
What an honest post. I am still struggling in trying to give up smoking. I have been able to quit in the past but went back to it over a year ago during a very low point in my marriage. The marriage survived but the smoking stayed. Very similar to stress eating, I turned to smoking when I felt I couldn’t handle the pain and the stress.
“We deserve a life of healing and good choices that come from filling ourselves with the love of the Lord” <- I shall think of this every day as I try to kick the habit.
Smoking is a tough habit to break! I feel your pain, Jhanis. I was a smoker for many years. I quit at the same time I gave up alcohol. They were really a package deal for me. I’m happy to hear your marriage survived. Definitely keep in mind all the good that you deserve as you work on breaking free :).
Thank you for being so honest and open with your journey. You are an inspiration!
Thank you for the encouragement, Patrice! I feel really driven to be sharing my journey. I pray it will help others.
Thank you for this open post. It feels like I am reading the words that have OFTEN played in my own head. God bless ~ Miriam
I think so many of us are emotional eaters, Miriam. It is an easy escape. Blessings to you!
Dear Candace,
Your blog has been so encouraging. May the Lord bless you.
Love Elna Group 12 Abby Nardi
Thank you, Elna! I’m so glad you found encouragement here :).
I am an emotional eater too! I am trying so hard to overcome that & I can say that since starting MTC I can recognize when that is going to happen & have been able to restrain myself. I have also fell into that trap a couple times though. The victory for me is I think that I am aware of what is going on. Girl, it is hard …..I know that but I also know with God on our side we can conquer this battle!
It is so hard, Tonya! I’m so happy to hear you are feeling success through awareness. I think that is a huge step forward. I am still praying every day for a change in my eating habits, but I’m honestly struggling. I really appreciate you, my friend!
Please could you tell me what is MTC thank you and blessings
Hi Shalom! It stands for Made to Crave, the book referenced in my post above. It’s a wonderful resource from Lysa TerKeurst. Blessings to you as well :).
Praying for you to be able to identify when those triggers are leading you towards action and hear the voice of Jesus instead. Your verse from Psalm 143 reminded me of this one: “The LORD will guide you always. He will satisfy you in a sun-scorched land and strengthen your frame. You will be like a well-watered garden; like a spring whose waters never fail.” Isaiah 58:11
Thank you so much for your prayers and the beautiful verse from Isaiah, Elizabeth! I really needed to read that tonight. I’m fairly new to the Bible and always appreciate being led to a new verse :). “A well-watered garden” sounds like a wonderful goal to strive for!
Thank you for sharing your story! I appreciate your willingness to be open about these deep struggles, shining a light in what could otherwise be very dark places. Triggers are triggers, no matter their root, and your thoughts on cutting them off will prove beneficial for many!
Thanks, Jenn! Triggers are beasts. Becoming aware of them is an important first step. I certainly hope this will prove beneficial to many others :)!
Thanks so much for opening up about your battles Candace and how you’ve overcome them. God bless you!
I have found sharing this to be incredibly therapeutic. My food issues continue to be a daily battle, but I remain hopeful :). Blessings to you, Louida!
What a very raw, honest, and powerful post. Best of luck, and I’ll keep you in my prayers.
Thanks so much for the prayers, Roaen! They are greatly needed and appreciated :)!
Can relate to your feelings. Growing up, my mom used food as a celebration or reward which made me think food made me happy. Gaining and loosing 30lbs made me realize I was wrong. Thanks for the encouraging words.
I think so many of us were raised to use food for comfort and celebrating, Jacqueline. Congrats on losing 30 pounds! That is a wonderful accomplishment.
Love your honesty and willingness to share your story Candace. I am also an emotional eater/ self medicator. I suffer from clinical depression and anxiety and I can really relate to what you say about how junk food and a sedentary lifestyle are the worst things for those types of conditions. It’s a double edged sword. The key to fighting it is awareness and you are doing a great job! Thanks for sharing,
Jen
Thanks, Jen! Depression and anxiety are so difficult to deal with. I think we all tend to self medicate at times. This has been a really good week. It is amazing how different I feel emotionally when I get a little exercise and add some fruits and vegetables to my diet :)! I hope you are doing well! It is hard to understand the pain of mental health issues unless you have dealt with them personally. I feel your pain!
That is a great book, and I appreciate your honesty here! We all have areas that can trip us up when we aren’t aware.
I love Lysa’s book too, Sarah. It may be time for me to read it again :). We really do need to stay aware. It’s when we’re going through life on autopilot that we seem to get in the most trouble!
Yes, I identify completely. Between Made to Crave and Beth Moore’s Praying God’s Word , Breaking Free from Spiritual Strongholds, I have been successful at losing weight the past year and a half. (90 lbs gone with 20 left to lose.) It is an equilateral triangle. Spiritual ( my relationship with Christ and having him at the stop), Physical ( exercise and eating plan), and Emotional ( my daily decisions and life happenings.) All three must be in balance. When I started on the journey one more time in July of 2016, I knew it had to be a life changing decision. Between my Bible, Prayer, and these two books I am striving to continue to lose weight and give the Glory to our Lord.
Wow! What an inspiring testimony, Linda. Thanks so much for sharing your story and important tips here. A 90 pound loss is an amazing triumph. I have that Beth Moore book but haven’t read it yet. You definitely inspired me to put it on the top of my list! Many blessings to you as you continue this healthy living journey!
You always show me how brave you are in sharing the real and honest parts of your journey with food. Made to Crave is such a good book. I’ve read it twice. I am still learning.
If you have not heard of Revelation Wellness, it is an organization that will inspire and help you on your food journey. It really had made such a difference in how I care for myself.
I really need to read it a second time too, Mary. There’s so many great takeaways. I have not heard of that organization. Thanks for sharing it! I’ll definitely check it out. I can use all the healthy resources I can get :).