Why do we so easily find ourselves turning to food for stress relief? For some of us, it’s the sweet treats that take us away into softer places. For others, anything deep-fried, salty, or crunchy may do the trick. Perhaps you need a combination of all of these in your harshest moments.
Regardless of our food drug of choice, we are using what should be our daily nourishment as something to take us out of undesirable life circumstances.
I recently read an amazing book from Andie Mitchell, It Was Me All Along
“Eating made me forget. The flavors, the textures, and smells entertained me enough to mute my other senses. Filling my belly stuffed my mind so completely that no space existed for sadness. Packing myself with sweets until I ached created a new sensation, one that had nothing to do with intense loneliness and broken dads.”
Oh, how I get this. My dad was extremely broken which, in turn, created a great deal of brokenness in me. I remember turning to large quantities of unhealthy choices often throughout my childhood to escape the pain. This has carried into my adult life as I continue to battle food addiction today.
Binge eating, started years ago for so many of us, becomes an autopilot mechanism for our stressful moments in life. We don’t even really think about it at times. It seems the decision to binge makes itself as Andie so perfectly describes in her book:
“I picked up the package, a bag of Kit Kat Pop Em’ Bites. I imagine it served five in a reasonable world, but one in mine. My heartbeat quickened. Close to a choice I should not be making, I felt excited and anxious, on the ledge of jumping into food oblivion. The decision made itself. Into the cart the Kit Kits went. That was it, I realized; I had decided to binge. Too late to turn back now…”
We think it’s too late to turn back once that bag of Kit Kats is in our cart, or even worse the first 5 have popped into our mouths. Here’s the good news: it’s never too late. We can stop that binge in its tracks. And if we’ve already finished up a full fledged binge, we can still move forward and forgive ourselves. (Read more about this in How to Recover From Emotional Eating Binges.)
The most important thing we can do is become aware of what is happening. Get off of autopilot and be mindful of the choices we are making. Even in our most stressful moments, we need to focus on what we are putting in our mouths.
“The change I’d undergone—from someone who ate to capacity to distract her mind, into someone who purposely tasted every morsel—was not unconscious. It was a transformation that had taken deliberate effort…”
~Andie Mitchell
This transformation from eating for distraction to people who mindfully enjoy their food must absolutely be a conscious effort.
Andie goes on to share about putting her fork down between bites instead of that shoveling in effort us overeaters know all to well. She allowed food to sit on her tongue for longer to actually savor it rather than the way I often swallow my meal whole, not actually tasting a bite.
This is the road to recovery. We must taste, feel, and stay in each moment, rather than using food to distract us from life. Instead of grabbing those donuts in your next crisis situation, try calling a friend, writing in a journal, praying Bible verses or even better, just listening to God. He can help you figure out what your body and mind are truly craving.
Try anything that will keep you present. Mindful eating is the first step and what I believe to be the key to recovery. For more on my own food addiction story, check out the monthly Turning to Food series.
I would love for you to come alongside me on this journey by subscribing here.
This wonderful book is part of my to be read pile for 2016. Learn more about It Was Me All Along by Andie Mitchell at Amazon.com
Interestingly enough, though I’ve never had this kind of ongoing issue/battle/struggle with food, just yesterday I was tired and kept looking for more things to eat. I really didn’t want anything but a nap, so eventually I did take a short one, which helped. It’s so interesting to me how we all try to find comfort or relief outside of ourselves (body, mind, spirit) instead of within. In fact, a great portion of our society is actually all about that and it’s can be hard to teach if we don’t model and practice ourselves. 🙂
Being tired is definitely a trigger for me as well, Kendall. I can completely relate :). I’m glad you got a nap in and were able to recover. I really need to take more naps. They are truly healing on so many levels!
Mindful eating is something I have to stay conscious of. It’s all too easy to just open and bag and dig in before realizing how much I’ve eaten. I’ve discovered that if I get out the portion I want to eat, then immediately put the bag away, I’m much safer. Thanks for sharing this, Candace. I need all the reminders I can get.
That is the best way for me to have any sort of portion control as well, Lisa. If I sit down with a whole bag, especially while distracted with TV or my laptop, it never ends well. Mindful eating is something I’m really working on these days. It can change everything :).
Thank you for this encouragement, Candace. I really need that deliberate effort to focus on what I’m putting in my mouth. 🙁 It’s weird, but I often reach for and swallow the candy or chips on impulse. Then I could kick myself… I know I always feel better when I eat healthy, but still I keep doing it. 🙁 I often think of your encouragement to forgive ourselves and move forward again. Blessings and hugs to you!
Hi Trudy! I do the exact same thing, eating on impulse and then kicking myself over it :). It’s such a vicious cycle. I’m glad you can remember my advice. Unfortunately, I still forget it every once in a while. Blessings and hugs to you!
Wow. That book sounds so powerful. I definitely turn to food for comfort. While I’m okay with that, I understand it can become dangerous fast. Thanks for sharing your review of this book with us!
It’s a great book, Leslie. She is a wonderful writer with such an important story. It is definitely a fine line into the danger zone. It sounds like it’s not problematic for you though which is wonderful. You are one of the lucky ones ;).
“This transformation from eating for distraction to people who mindfully enjoy their food must absolutely be a conscious effort.” Oh my is that true. When I mindfully make choices about my eating I find I am so much healthier in mind, body and spirit. It is like a perfect way to determine if you are living the best balanced life you can. If I am stress eating or just eating to eat then I can always tell that things are out of whack. Great post my friend!
I feel the same, Jen. I know things are out of whack when I’m reaching for food with no hunger involved. This happens far too often with me unfortunately. Mindful choices is where it’s at and what I’m really working on these days :).
Dear Candace … this is an important post. Thank you for the much-needed reminder to be aware of what our bodies are saying to us and be willing to make choices that are healthy and sane. I find that being aware of hunger just as it’s arriving is a powerful aide, rather than ignoring what my body is inviting me to … and then emotionally grazing through the kitchen.
Thank you for the truths you are teaching us …
That is great advice to be aware of hunger in its first moments, Linda. I feel like I don’t even allow myself to get hungry anymore by eating too much and too often. This is an important area to work on as well. Thanks for the reminder!
Candace, it’s been so long since I’ve read your blog. I’ve missed it! When I saw your post thumbnail at Holley Gerth’s place, I knew it was you, so here I am. 🙂 Mindfully enjoying our food. I’m reading this at the right time because I’ve just decided to do my version of Whole 30 for the next month. 🙂
It’s great to see you here, Betsy! I would love to hear about your experience on Whole 30. It’s wonderful that you’re doing your own version. I think far too often we try to do these programs for the masses that really need to be personalized for us. Good luck!
This sounds like another great book to read. Staying mindful can help you in so many situations. I try to stay present, but it’s something that I need to work on. When I am being present everything is so much better, because I’m not worrying about what could happen in the future.
I completely agree, Sonya! Mindfulness can serve us in so many areas. It’s something I’m trying to work on throughout my life right now as well.
Love! Thank you for sharing. I teach mindful eating and it is super challenging for me. I can relate to your story as well. Food was to fill what God could only fill.
This was SO true for me as well, Maureen: “Food was to fill what God could only fill.” It’s a tough shift although it really shouldn’t be. Mindful eating is very new to me, but I’m a big fan already :).
Beautiful honesty. So many who benefit from knowing they are not alone, and that they can change.
It can be a lonely disease, Michelle. This is surprising since so many people suffer from it. My goal in this online space is definitely to help people know they are not, by any means, alone :).
What an important topic, Candace. I think most women struggle with this to some extent. Thanks for sharing about this book and your own experience to shed some light on the issue.
I would absolutely agree with you, Shannon. I think most women have some sort of struggle in this area. It’s a tough, but necessary, fight :).
What a great topic! This is something that I used to struggle with but after losing weight (have kept a decent weight for 8 years) I have learned better ways to deal with stress relief instead of turning to food.
That is wonderful that you’ve found freedom with this, Valerie. Eight years is a beautiful amount of time to keep the weight off. I don’t think people understand how hard the maintenance phase is. Thanks for sharing your success :). It’s inspiring!
I’m trying to practice mindful eating, but too often my sweet tooth gets the best of me…
That awful sweet tooth gets the best of me far too often as well, Akaleistar. I can so relate!
I have caught myself this past week eating stuff I shouldn’t have had and knowing the consequences because it was a stressful week. Its like a drug!! Once the high was over, I felt awful. Just awful and then my body felt bad and I couldn’t sleep. Blah. The last time I wanted to grab something to throw in my mouth….I stopped. Closed my eyes, took a deep breath and said a short prayer. I didn’t eat it!! Binge eating is a habit, but asking God for help is a great habit to have and it works.
I just nodded all the way through reading your comment, Tammy. I completely get every word! It’s unbelievable how terrible I feel after a stress eating session. Good for you on catching yourself and turning to a good breath and prayer instead. What a perfect habit to replace a binge with!
Just added this book to my amazon wishlist! The quotes you shared here were very powerful and really touched me. I definitely am an emotional/stress eater. I recently was able to get it under control and lose 40+ lbs as a result, but as the stresses of life continue I find myself slipping back into old habits.
It’s a great book, Erin. I just ordered her cookbook, Eating in the Middle, from Amazon. Congrats on the weight loss! What an awesome accomplishment. I know how hard that is and the maintenance is no picnic either, sometimes even harder. Be strong. You’ve got this ;)!
This book sounds SO real and raw and perfect for those who struggle in using food to self medicate, Candace. What a perfect review for your series and your mission to help people heal from this addiction- I know so many who suffer with it.
This book is awesome, Chris. I would definitely recommend sharing it with your friends who struggle with this all too common disease. Always good to see you, my friend :).
Such a great post! I accidentaly saw your comment on another blog and there was a link to this post – have to come and read it. I am fighting with myself about my eating habit a lot. I’ve been doing great for half a year, but then this past month was so hectic and trying to get back to the routine I had before. I will definitely read the book!
I’m so glad you found your way here, Marina! It’s nice to meet you :). Hectic lives definitely throw us off in this area. I can so relate to your struggle. I would love to hear what you think of the book after you read it. I truly loved it.
Hi Candace, it’s always good to hear other people’s stories of food addiction. I come from big numbers and was in a 12 step fellowship for food addiction. I lost half my body weight….I think I weighed over 300 pounds? I’m from Australia and our metric system is different to US….during this time I met the real Jesus (not Catholic Jesus) and became born again.
My life has been amazing and have received a lot of healing.
Food is my idol…my golden calf….I am overcoming it, but oh so slowly. God is good and has healed me from addiction. I am careful as the enemy likes to play games. But I have Holy Spirit who inspires me daily.
I look forward to reading your newsletter.
🙂 Kylie from Melbourne, Australia.
Hi Kylie! Your story is so inspiring. Thanks for sharing it here. The enemy certainly does love his games. I can completely relate to having to be extra careful. It’s a daily struggle at times for me. I’m looking forward to getting to know you better. My daughter spent 2 weeks in your beautiful country this summer :). She loved it!