My husband has this little saying about me: I never like what I order. It started out as a joke at restaurants because I truly always regret my order shortly after placing it. The phrase has now become a blanket statement about most of my life choices.
I’m always questioning everything I do, wondering if another option would have been a better choice. Dreaming of roads not taken sometimes uses more of my time than trying to move further along the path I’m on. Here are just a few examples…
We are currently struggling with finding a church home. At the beginning of our marriage, my husband and I church shopped for years. He was raised in a very legalistic setting while I have no memories of a church family in my childhood. This difference caused many delays in settling on a place for our family to worship on Sunday mornings.
We finally found a church to call home several years ago. Today I’m restless with this decision, wondering if there may be somewhere else we are meant to be. Many things have happened over the past few years that have caused me to feel a need to move on.
As with all churches, being made of flawed people, there will be various issues to deal with. We need to decide if we are willing to accept those particular issues or if it’s time to try somewhere new. Through all this deciphering, I also must consider if I’m trapped in a perpetual the grass is always greener on the other side cycle, similar to the “Should I have ordered something else?” conundrum.
Another area I’m losing sleep over is this online space I’ve grown to love so incredibly much. This blog started out as a way to share my testimony and try to reach other addicts still out there suffering. Shortly after startup, I decided to add crafts to help myself actually finish some of the 8000 projects I have laying around my house. I also added a focus on the addiction that continues to haunt me today: food.
I’m rethinking everything about this site today — what content to share, a new header, design… I look around at other blogs trying to find my focus, whether it’s DIY, faith, food addiction, or one of many other choices spread across the internet. This always leads to comparison and more questioning, again taking me down that ugly the grass is always greener path.
My house is in the midst of a redecorating whirlwind. I started small, with my master bathroom several months ago, and have since moved through my living room and kitchen. I’m currently working on my craft room and bedroom.
As I browse around for ideas, I can’t help but fall in love with other homes. I adore the idea of having a garden and chickens running around, which is forbidden by my neighborhood. I find myself longing for a smaller home, bigger yard, better view…
The grass is always greener…
This is a mindset I hope to leave in the past. I don’t have an answer for it today. No resolution, like real life sometimes is, I suppose.
Needless to say, a new church family, a complete blog rebrand, and/or a new house may be in my near future.
What areas do you struggle with finding contentment? I would love to hear any advice you want to share, including your favorite types of posts to read on my blog. As I consider rebranding, I definitely want to know what interests you the most. I don’t want to disrupt this community in any way, except to help it grow.