My husband has this little saying about me: I never like what I order. It started out as a joke at restaurants because I truly always regret my order shortly after placing it. The phrase has now become a blanket statement about most of my life choices.
I’m always questioning everything I do, wondering if another option would have been a better choice. Dreaming of roads not taken sometimes uses more of my time than trying to move further along the path I’m on. Here are just a few examples…
We are currently struggling with finding a church home. At the beginning of our marriage, my husband and I church shopped for years. He was raised in a very legalistic setting while I have no memories of a church family in my childhood. This difference caused many delays in settling on a place for our family to worship on Sunday mornings.
We finally found a church to call home several years ago. Today I’m restless with this decision, wondering if there may be somewhere else we are meant to be. Many things have happened over the past few years that have caused me to feel a need to move on.
As with all churches, being made of flawed people, there will be various issues to deal with. We need to decide if we are willing to accept those particular issues or if it’s time to try somewhere new. Through all this deciphering, I also must consider if I’m trapped in a perpetual the grass is always greener on the other side cycle, similar to the “Should I have ordered something else?” conundrum.
Another area I’m losing sleep over is this online space I’ve grown to love so incredibly much. This blog started out as a way to share my testimony and try to reach other addicts still out there suffering. Shortly after startup, I decided to add crafts to help myself actually finish some of the 8000 projects I have laying around my house. I also added a focus on the addiction that continues to haunt me today: food.
I’m rethinking everything about this site today — what content to share, a new header, design… I look around at other blogs trying to find my focus, whether it’s DIY, faith, food addiction, or one of many other choices spread across the internet. This always leads to comparison and more questioning, again taking me down that ugly the grass is always greener path.
My house is in the midst of a redecorating whirlwind. I started small, with my master bathroom several months ago, and have since moved through my living room and kitchen. I’m currently working on my craft room and bedroom.
As I browse around for ideas, I can’t help but fall in love with other homes. I adore the idea of having a garden and chickens running around, which is forbidden by my neighborhood. I find myself longing for a smaller home, bigger yard, better view…
The grass is always greener…
This is a mindset I hope to leave in the past. I don’t have an answer for it today. No resolution, like real life sometimes is, I suppose.
Needless to say, a new church family, a complete blog rebrand, and/or a new house may be in my near future.
What areas do you struggle with finding contentment? I would love to hear any advice you want to share, including your favorite types of posts to read on my blog. As I consider rebranding, I definitely want to know what interests you the most. I don’t want to disrupt this community in any way, except to help it grow.
Candace,
Thanks for sharing that quote and your story…I can relate to sometimes questioning what I did…I think it is the recovering perfectionist in me…Daily I count my blessings and ask God to help me to focus on what is in front of me right now…Nice to meet you 🙂 Best wishes as you remodel your home and blog 🙂
It’s nice to meet you too, Dolly! I’m a perfectionist as well, unfortunately not quite recovering yet :). That difficult trait really does make us question everything. Counting blessings is definitely a big help in finding contentment. Thanks for that reminder!
I struggle finding contentment, too, but reading this post made me think of the Serenity Prayer. I don’t think wanting something new is bad, so why not change the things that you can?
I absolutely love the Serenity Prayer, Akaleistar. I have it hanging in my office. Wanting new things is definitely not a bad thing. It’s just when I get in that place where nothing seems satisfactory that I worry. I need to probably pick one area to focus on that I want to change the most :).
I love hearing about your story and also about the crafts you do. I understand about wanting to change things up on your blog because I have trouble finding contentment with my blog too. Sometimes I think I want to go back to doing sales everyday and then other times I don’t feel like I have time to post anything at all.
I can’t imagine trying to post everyday, Sonya! You are so much more consistent than I could ever dream of, my friend. I love your sales alerts and your goal updates. We seem to always have similar goals, but you are better at meeting them :).
I am not sure how I found your blog but it is no doubt because we have some things in common. I am an addict too. I gave up cigarettes more than 25 years ago, alcohol about 20 years ago and now I am struggling with food addiction. I am also an avid quilter and enjoy most needlework and crafts. I am paralyzed by perfection in that I often can not begin anything new for fears of not getting it right. That includes changing my food plan. Not sure where to start but I know I need to get a hold of this last addiction in my life.
Wow! We have so much in common, Debra. I’m glad you found your way here. It’s nice to meet you and I’m really looking forward to getting to know you better. Food seems to be the hardest addiction I’ve ever faced. I’m the same way about perfection, which can really set us up to fail. I’ve been doing a monthly series called Turning to Food that goes through a lot of the plans I’ve tried over the past year. I’m on a new one now that I hope to share next month if it’s successful. I hope that at the end of this experiment of many plans, I can take pieces from each and create something helpful for all of us :). Thanks so much for introducing yourself!
Sounds like you have a lot of things on your mind and heart right now. I know that sometimes I have partaken in that whirlwind of change. Some things are good to let go of and some things aren’t. Good luck as you decide what changes to make my friend.
Thanks, Jen! It seems like things just start to build in every area and suddenly I’m overwhelmed with choices. I think I’m going to pick one area to focus on for now. Hopefully I can figure out which one to start with ;).
Hey, my friend … thanks for your musings. I’m guessing that alot of us are wondering some of the very same things.
I love your writing, I love visiting here! May whatever God leads you to share give you a deep sense of satisfaction, the feeling of a job well done, a smile on your face when you hit that publish button.
Hugs!
I would agree that many of us wonder about these things, Linda. It can be a vicious cycle, my friend. Thank you for your sweet comment. I’m struggling with consistency around here, hoping to be back on a decent schedule soon when school starts back for my son. Hugs to you!
Candace, as you think through all these changes, may you seek Him & His plan for your home, your church and your blog. May you hear His voice clearly … “Your own ears will hear him. Right behind you a voice will say, “This is the way you should go,” whether to the right or to the left.” (Isaiah 30:21). It is in that very place you will find the green grass perfectly suited for you. Blessings!
Thank you for sharing that important verse, Joanne. I just read it in a book last week as well. It’s always a beautiful thing when God keeps sending us a verse to pay attention to :). Many blessings to you!
Oh, I’ve been there too. One thing that helped me stop feeling discontent is to stop comparing myself, my life, my hobbies, my family, my whatever to someone else’s. I’m not perfect in this area, for sure, but it’s certainly different than it used to be. So glad to read your heart here. I’m glad you’re back linking up at #ThreeWordWednesday. 🙂
Comparison can be a terrible thing, Kristin! I know better but still find myself trapped in it at times. I’ve been spending more time offline lately which seems to help. I’m hoping to clear my mind and get back into a more consistent schedule when school starts back :).
Thank you for sharing your thoughts with us, Candace. I love your creativity, both in your words and in your projects. I think I especially love when you share deep feelings of what you went through or are going through and how God has brought or is bringing you through it. Praying God will guide you and strengthen you through all the decisions concerning your site, a church, and a home. I wish you the best!
Thanks so much for the prayers, Trudy! You are appreciated, my friend. I think my favorite posts to share are telling my life stories and how God is changing me too. I’m glad to hear those resonate the most with you. That is most likely the direction this blog will continue to head :).
I have been struggling with my own blog lately. I have simplified it and I’m still not 100% happy with it. I think I do compare myself to others. Life in general has me down, but I’m looking for the little things to be thankful for.
I think your site looks great, Barbie. I’m definitely wanting to simplify mine as well. I’m so sorry to hear life has got you down. Keep reminding yourself of that gratitude list :). I know how hard it can be at times. Praying for you!
Candace!
I’m loving your “passing violets for roses” quote…..So profound.
Listen, I’m sorry this need to move on is plaguing you. But can I say that you sharing your deep thoughts, even though some of them weigh heavily on your mind, is always thought provoking?
I do think that we all struggle on some level with the validity of our choices—-anything from decorating decisions to our place of worship. I’ve felt it too….yes, restaurant ordering as well! I think we all go through waves of minor discontent, which is affected by anything from hormones, to our responsibilities making us crazy and causing us to doubt ourselves.
I, too, am contemplating change on my blog. I think it looks a little too cutesy compared to other blogs. But you know what? The time and energy it’d take me to redo? Hmmmm, I just don’t think it’s worth it. I guess I’ll keep putting up with the “old” design!
Listen, hang in there ……. sounds like you have a lot to ponder. Hey, I’m loving visiting here–no matter what color/style/etc. I’ll come by always.
take care, my friend and I’ll “see” you soon!
Thanks so much for your sweet and thoughtful comment, Chris. I love the picture of your boys in your header. They look so happy and free. It makes me smile every time I visit you. I’m feeling a little too much cutesy going on here, but I agree in the time and energy dilemma. I just don’t know that it’s worth it to me at this time either. I’m happy to hear I’ll continue to see you regardless, my friend :).
“I never like what I order.” Oh how I struggle with that too. It tends to frustrate my husband how I can quickly change my mind on something . . . well, it’s likely within 24 hours of buying something. I did it with a car once. I actually woke him up in the middle of the night to say we had to take it back. lol
But I get so much of this Candace. I used to do it often with my job . . . thinking the grass is greener elsewhere. I have learned to find contentment where I’m at. There are still other areas where I need to work on this. Joanne V. shared some good wisdom in her comment.
Blessing to you.
xoxo
Oh Beth, that made me laugh big! I have certainly been there, my friend. Regret is a tough thing to deal with, that is for sure. I’m definitely seeing progress in the area of contentment. Every once in a while, I get thrown off track. Spending some time offline recently has certainly helped. Many blessings to you as well!
I think the grass will always be greener on the other side! Human nature to some extent, I suppose. I truly believe if we are questioning something and longing for something else, it probably wasn’t the right decision in the first place or we have grown beyond what was. I think it has a lot to do with being a creative, I don’t think we are wired to remain stagnant!
Best wishes to you in figuring out what works best for you and your Blog. I love reading your posts Candace, you offer wonderful inspiration. I just rebranded my blog, happy with the direction it’s heading, but I know there will be more changes to come with the design!
I’m loving your rebrand too, Jane. I hope to do something by the end of the year, but I just don’t have the energy right now. Your advice here is wonderful: “I truly believe if we are questioning something and longing for something else, it probably wasn’t the right decision in the first place or we have grown beyond what was.” I must remember that! Thank you :).
Oh friend! So much to think about and do, right??? I understand the lack of contentment but am learning slowly that God is going to lead and His timing is perfect. I try very hard not to fall into the comparison trap because of the time it consumes but also because God is so enamored with each of us just the way we are. I will pray as you consider options for your blog and other areas in your life. Nothing will ever be perfect but you are perfect in God’s eyes.
Thanks for the prayers, Mary! I’m feeling a little better now. Some time away has helped. If I spend too much time online, whether blogging or on social media, it can be disastrous :). This: “Nothing will ever be perfect but you are perfect in God’s eyes.” Amen, my friend!
I know what you mean about finding a good church. Hubby and I both are Baptist, which can be very legalistic in many ways. I’ve always said Baptists can be their worst enemies. Living where we are at in Central Florida and since this area is a mecca for snowbirds, there is plenty of Catholic and Lutheran churches but only a couple of Baptist. And both are very legalistic and not preaching anything about grace. Its come to where we both watch grace based preachers on tv and have accepted that as “our” church. Is it because we aren’t content? We can’t figure it out. We just know that after watching the preachers on tv we are more satisfied with the word. But we do both miss church family.
Good luck with your redecorating or house hunting and I think we are all guilty of the “greener on the other side” syndrome.
We really are all guilty of that syndrome, Tammy. Thanks for relating :). I think I’ll be sticking with redecorating for now. The thought of moving is far too overwhelming for me.
That’s a tough situation you are in regarding church. We actually have many choices in our area, which is why I feel like we should at least visit some others. I think if you are connecting with the Word through preachers on tv, that can be really helpful. I understand about missing a church family though. My mom was raised Baptist. I’m not really knowledgeable enough to know the differences of various faiths. We have friends from our church that just switched to a Baptist one. We usually end up at a Christian church. My husband was raised in Church of Christ, but I never really felt comfortable there. It took a long time for me to get him somewhere with instruments. Now we watch a full band on Sunday mornings and he has adjusted well. I hope you and your hubby find what you need.
Candace,
Sweet friend I commend you for sharing what’s in your heart. That transparency is what has joined my heart to yours. Of the many blogs I peruse, yours is one of the few I subscribe to. I join you in prayer as you seek Him for direction.
What a beautiful compliment, Tyra! Thank you for joining me on this journey and in prayer. I have always felt connected to you as well, my friend. You truly inspire me :).
I love the quotes: “Bloom where you are planted.” and “The grass is greener where you water it.” Those quotes have encouraged me to make the best of where I am rather than always looking for something that I think is better which I tend to do. I can relate to several of your unanswered questions. We recently had to find a new church. It was a big decision that took us several months, but it was the right thing to do. And I’m not sure where I want my blog to go either…. I hope you are able to find peace in your decisions soon!
I’m finding a lot more peace these days, Emily :). We have decided to stay at our church for now. We visited another one a couple of times, but my son is really embedded in our current place. I hope things are going well with your new church. I know that’s such a big decision. I love those quotes you shared too. They are both so inspiring!